edwards.jpgI was saddened yesterday to hear about Elizabeth Edwards untimely death from cancer. Her life, her family, her career, had its share of ups and down just like most of us, but I’ve been struck by how she’s being remembered.

Here’s a one-line obituary from the front page of the Wall Street Journal today:

Died: Elizabeth Edwards, 61, adviser to her husband who won sympathy during a battle with cancer and family travails.

I wonder if Edwards would have appreciated this summation of her life. It’s the type of description that could fit any number of individuals who sacrifice their own dreams for power-hungry spouses.

Edwards made career, family and health sacrifices for her husband. I think sitting back and looking at what she went through in her life and others like her is a good thing for many of us to do as we rush through life.

I know it made me think about what I want my one-line obit to say.

Her name was Mary Elizabeth Anania, but she went by Elizabeth Anania for most of her professional life as a lawyer in bankruptcy and public service, preferring to keep her maiden name even after she married John Edwards, according to the New York Times.

From the Times:

But the storybook family was shattered on April 4, 1996, when [her son] Wade, a high school junior, was killed in a car accident driving to the Edwardses’ beach house. Devastated, the parents stopped working. For months, Mrs. Edwards read her son’s textbooks aloud at his grave and spent sleepless nights in online bereavement groups or staring at a weather channel.

Eventually, the couple decided to change their lives. In Wade’s name, they established a foundation, created a computer learning lab at his high school and organized scholarships and essay awards. Elizabeth changed her surname to Edwards, began fertility treatments and had two more children — Emma Claire, in 1998, and John, known as Jack, in 2000.

Most of us know what ended up happening. Her husband ran for vice president and president; had a torrid affair and fathered a daughter with his mistress; and continued to campaign even though his wife had cancer and she asked him to stop.

She followed her husband’s dream initially with all her passion and devotion, and kept doing so even when she was tired of it all.

No one will know for sure if she felt it was all worth it in the end.

In an interview on the Today Show this past summer she talked about her revelations following her husband’s philandering and how she had lost herself over the years.

“I wanted to be present in the remainder of my life,” she said.

As for her obituary. In her book, “Resilience: Reflections on the Burdens and Gifts of Facing Life’s Adversities” she wrote:

“Is it too much to want your obit, when written, to be about your own life, not the lives of the worst people that came into your life?”

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