Earlier this week, I was interviewing a source for a story using the video chat service Skype and my 7-year-old son Cheiron made an unexpected, unwanted appearance in my home office.
Typically, my kids know not to come in mommy’s office when the door is closed but on this day there must have been a full moon or something.
The boy did everything he could to get in on the conversation, even making up a sign to tell me that the oven had reached 350 degrees and he wanted me to put his pizza snack in so he could eat it.
My time was limited with the source, George Eves, founder of Expat Info Desk, because he was in France and it was 9 p.m. his time. Clearly the guy was tired and the last thing he probably wanted to do was talk to an annoying reporter from MSNBC about Americans working abroad.
What would you do in this precarious work-at-home situation?
A. Kill the boy.
B. Apologize to the source and continue the interview.
C. Stop the interview and call the source back after you beat the boy.
D. Pretend the boy with the sign is a figment of the source’s imagination. “What little boy?”
I chose “B” of course. Even though the whole situation was pretty uncomfortable.
The way Skype works is you can chat by video with people anywhere in the world via the camera on your laptop. I could see George and he could see me. There is also a tiny box on the screen where you can see yourself. I didn’t realize Cheiron was doing the 350-sign parade, until George started laughing a bit and I looked at the tiny box and saw him behind me.
George was quite nice about it, and we went on with the interview.
His reaction is a far cry from how people used to treat me when I first started working from home in 2000. Back then, if a business contact I was on the phone with heard a kid in the background, they’d get annoyed or just turn cold on me, as if I weren’t a serious journalist but some mom in fluffy slippers playing Legos with my toddler.
I can’t help but think lately the world of business is becoming more understanding of the kid quotient in every aspect of our work lives. So many of us work at home and so many of us have blurred the lines between work and home life.
I’m not so sure that’s a good thing because now I work 24-7 it seems. And if you asked my husband he’d say I never stop working. He often yells, “stop working!”
And clearly there are negatives when you work from home and have kids around. About.com offers this list of six drawbacks of this situation and the one I can really relate to is #2:
2. Distractions.
Even if you have full-time childcare in your home, dealing with interruptions is an essential skill for work-at-home moms. Though regular offices have their share of distractions, they are rarely as personal as the ones you encounter at home. Even with your office door closed, you will hear a sobbing child.
I am lucky that my kids really don’t sob anymore, but they do act like kids and do wacky things. Should people be more understanding of our kid responsibilities, or should we parents just stop whining and make arrangements so we always come off looking professional, even though we’re working round the clock today?
March 17th, 2010 at 10:09 am
I had the privilege of enjoying work-from-home days when working for a former employer. Even with my wife at home (a stay-at-home mom), both she and the kids were very aware of my presence. They didn’t intend to interrupt, but it happened frequently. My wife and I worked things out early on, but the kids were a different story. I developed two stratgeies to address the issue. First, when possible, I got up earlier than everyone else and fit in a few hours of work before the kids became a factor. If necessary, I’d grab similar time late in the day after everyone else was in bed. Second, I automatically assumed I would have about 15 minutes of disruptions each hour, so I planned for the extra time “on the clock” (so to speak). Since my work was performance based (vs. straight time), it worked out well, but such a strategy is not as well suited in a position where you need to be available and uninterrupted during a set period of hours each day.
Let’s face it–working at home is a privilege. If my kids were preventing me from getting my work done, or from coming across as professional, I would have lost the privilege. I remember taking one conference call in the garage just to be sure no one would interrupt me or be heard in the background. I’ve also been on the other end of such calls, though, and so long as it was clear that the remote caller was in control of the situation, we didn’t have any problems with an occasional interruption. If the caller had to excuse himself or herself a moment to usher out an intruding child, we (at least, those of us with kids) would all chuckle because we knew how difficult it could be (at times) to get any work done at home.
It would be interesting to hear how these issues are perceived by those without children (singles, childless couples, or empty nesters).
Regarding working “around the clock”, I believe we all need to set limits. If there is an expectation that you be available at odd hours, keep tabs of when those calls come in (and their durations) and use the info to parley for a lighter daytime load (or, if applicable, on-call pay or bonuses). If they tell you that you are not expected to handle such extra calls or requests at odd times, ask your manager’s help to stop those calls from coming in. It’s hard to execute work-life balance if you are the only one aiming for it.
March 17th, 2010 at 12:18 pm
I transitioned to a home office 7 years ago and of all the transitions in my life ever I think the home office has been the hardest. I deal with family and friends who think since I’m home, I am at their beck and call. Neighbors getting ticked because “I knew you were home, I saw your car, why didn’t you answer the phone?”
My in-laws showed up with a truck load of fresh picked corn last summer expecting me to help them shuck it. I asked my husband if he thought his parents would have brought a load of corn to a real office building and called me out to shuck it in the parking lot.
My husband worked 2 days a week from home for a short period of time and that was a rough time for us. I could not effectively work at home if he were home too.
I have few distractions since there are no children and I’ve hurt my neighbors’ feelings enough that they don’t call or come over during work hours any more. I have a cat that has disconnected conference calls or jumped on the desk meowing during a call.
All of our positions are remote, meaning everyone must have a home office. As a hiring manager, I ask tons of questions before making that hiring decision. Just as a full time employee would not bring toddlers to an office every day, I want to know the person I’m hiring has child care during work hours. I know what those distractions are and I want to avoid hiring someone who is likely to struggle with them.
March 17th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
When I started working at home in 1994, I had to because I was too sick to have a job that required me to show up. I was desperate and determined but that didn’t mean my kids or anyone else shared my feelings. Like you, I trained the kids not to interrupt mommy. But unless there’s another adult in the house, that can be tricky if they’re under a certain age. But the unexpected can happen. I work as a coach, people pay to talk with me on the phone and I always worried they’d resent any interruption due to my child — or even my barking dog.
Now our kids are grown and even when it’s just my husband in the house,it’s an interruption. And our 22 year old has moved back home “temporarily” with her dog to save money while going to school. More interruptions. But, as my husband reminds me, there are many distractions in his office, too — noisy and constant interruptions.
I think we have to get over our own embarrassment that the interruptions are due to personal life. Life can be messy and we’re lucky if we can figure out a way to make it work, even a little, for us.
About working 24/7. It can seem that you are working that way if your work day is constantly interrupted by children’s schedules. Most of us who juggle family responsiilites w/work feel we’re always “working”. But if you’re always trying to cram in that extra 5 minutes, it’s probably not great for anyone, including you. We all need to slow it down just a bit, don’t you think?
March 17th, 2010 at 2:21 pm
You are all making me think I should do a column on this. I think it’s an issue for many of us working parents, and maybe we need to bring it out of the closet.
Would you mind if President Obama was giving his presidential address and one of his daughter could be heard in the background saying, “daddy, you promised you’d play ball for me,” or “when will my pizza be ready?”
March 17th, 2010 at 3:01 pm
If the President were giving an address from his home, I’d certainly expect that his kids might be seen or heard. For the most part, his entire work environment is controlled, making anyplace he goes much more like an unconventional office than any sort of work-from-home environment.