Many years ago, I volunteered for a nonprofit organization in New York called CancerCare. My work involved visiting with terminally ill patients so their loved ones could take a break from the caregiving process, maybe see a movie or go get their hair cut.

One thing that struck me was when I got to the homes of these families sometimes it was hard to tell the terminally ill patient from the caregiver. Often times the caregivers looked more beaten down and tired than the family member battling cancer.

I thought of this yesterday when I got a study from MetLife about how likely it is for caregivers to have health problems of their own, and how the problems cost employers big bucks every year in absenteeism and healthcare costs. And young adult and male caregivers are among the most at risk for health problems.

For those of you caring for an ailing relative or even a friend, it turns out you probably are making yourself sick as well, according to the study, done by the MetLife Mature Institute, the National Alliance for Caregiving and the University of Pittsburgh Institute of Aging, looking at 17,000 employees who worked at major U.S. companies.

Employees in the U.S. who are caring for an older relative are more likely to report health problems like depression, diabetes, hypertension or heart disease, costing employers an estimated average additional health care cost of 8% per year, or $13.4 billion annually, the researchers found.

Not surprisingly, folks with this kind of burden tend to participate in not so healthy behaviors, including smoking and drinking. And for women, those who have caregiving responsibilities are less likely to get annual mammograms than women who don’t take on such a load.

It also turns out, caregiving responsibilities take an even bigger toll on younger people, ages 18 to 39, and on men, the study found.

*Among particular employee segments, some are particularly at risk. Younger caregivers (18 to 39 years old) demonstrated significantly higher rates of cholesterol, hypertension, COPD, depression, kidney disease, and heart disease in comparison to non-caregivers of the same age.
*Health care costs to employers for the overall population of caregivers was 8 percent more than non caregivers; but the figure jumped to more than 18 percent for male caregivers.

“Caregivers have more unplanned absences. Their performance on the job is also compromised by a lack of focus on their work due to distractions, like phone calls and care coordination, that occupy their time,” said Gail Hunt, president and CEO of the National Alliance for Caregiving. “They need solutions so they can be healthier and perform better.”

(You can download the entire report here. It’s filled with interesting tidbits on how different age groups, and different occupations are impacted by caregiving.)

I asked MetLife if an expert there could offer caregivers advice on how to take care of themselves while caring for others.

This from Sandra Timmermann, Ed.d., director of the MetLife Mature Market Institute:

“What can caregivers do to keep healthy and continue to be productive on the job? First and foremost, its very important that they take care of themselves.

“Employed caregivers often find themselves under stress and in poor health because they are juggling work and caregiving responsibilities.

“Many caregivers feel they don’t have time to go to the doctor for checkups or to deal with physical or emotional issues, but they need to schedule time for this. They also need to build exercise into their lives, and be sure that they have a healthy diet. Many employers offer wellness programs on site - exercise, stress reduction, yoga classes, drug and alcohol counseling, flu shots - and employees should take advantage of these workplace benefits.

“A difficulty caregivers have is squeezing time in for exercise once they get home, and they may not have the opportunity to go to a class. Workplace programs are convenient and can be more easily built into the work schedule.

“Many employers also offer eldercare programs such as tip sheets and tools, caregiver coaches and geriatric care management services which can help employees navigate the care system, saving them many hours of time and alleviating stress. Since caregivers are often responsible for taking their loved ones to doctors’ appointments, or need time for other chores or unexpected crises, they should check with their employers about flextime - working a flexible schedule or telecommuting when needed can make a big difference in keeping stress to a minimum and promoting a healthier lifestyle.

“Caregivers should also take time outside of work just for themselves so they can be refreshed and renewed. Depression is common among caregivers who have been caring for someone over a long period of time.

“Adult day centers often sponsor respite programs or know of other community resources, allowing the caregiver to get away for a few hours or even a few days. And caregivers shouldn’t feel guilty if they take time for themselves.

“The bottom line is that employees who take care of themselves are more productive at work and are happier and healthier caregivers.”

I know what many of you are thinking, especially those who are taking care of someone you love right now — “Give me a break. There’s no time to do anything.”

And while Timmermann talks about all the great programs companies have, there are just as many employers that don’t offer nada, not even sick time.

A great help to US workers, especially those who have to take on the caregiver role, would be mandatory paid sick days, or paid family leave for employees already. Our great nation is one of the only industrialized nations that doesn’t have required sick time for workers.

OK, I get all this. Things need to change.

But you have to find ways to be selfish and look out for yourself. Yes, I’m talking to you selfless caregiver! If you get sick, that won’t help anyone, especially not your loved one.

When I volunteers for CancerCare, I remember how reluctant the family members were to leave their caregiving responsibilities when I arrived at their door, even those that got to know me and trust me. They just felt bad that they were shirking their duty, that they were handing off their job to someone else. I always felt a warmness in my heart when I saw such devotion.

But I felt even better when I saw that extra spring in the step of caregivers when they got back home after going for a nice dinner, or a cup of coffee with a friend.

It’s important that we care for the people we love, but don’t make yourselves sick people!!