There’s no better time to ponder if your kid will grow up to be a ditch digger or the president than after a parent-teacher conference.

My husband and I had two conferences today — one for our 10 year old daughter and another for our 7 year old son.

I’m always a bit nervous going into these things even though I know generally how my kids are doing in school. But sometimes there’s this thought in the back of your mind — “what if we missed something? What if there’s something about his or her ability, behavior, etc. that is derailing their progress?”

And what if any of that is a predictor of their success in the future?

Thankfully, there were no glaring issues to get me sick to my stomach. But there were some surprises. For some reason my artistic daughter did better in math than art. And my son who hates to write is considered a pretty good writer by his teacher.

What?!

It proves I don’t know what the hell is going on with my kids right now, let alone what will happen years from now.

I even asked my son’s teacher if she’s been able to predict what her students would go on to do. I asked if she had a kid come back and tell her they became a comedian, or doctor, and she said to herself — “I’m not surprised.”

She tried hard to think of an example but didn’t come up with one. Well, there was this one little girl, she said, who had behavioral problems until she gave her projects to run and then she flourished. That little girl became a nurse, but the teacher expected her to be running a company or something instead because she was a natural born leader.

So, either what we are as kids just doesn’t jive with what we become, or we forget what we were good at and loved as kids and let that go when we hit the reality of adulthood and the job market.

What ever the dynamic, do you need to do well in school to ultimately do well in life?

One study by Act Inc. called “The Forgotten Middle: Ensuring that all students are on target for college and career readiness before high school” found doing well in school before high school does mean you’re more likely to succeed:

Middle-school students who demonstrate those behaviors that
enhance academic achievement are more likely to perform well
academically in high school, and be ready for college and career
by the end of high school, than middle-school students who do not
demonstrate these behaviors.

A key focus for the upper elementary
grades and middle school should be to prepare students for the
high school curriculum by focusing on the attainment of
foundational skills in English, mathematics, reading, and science—
the essential skills for college and career readiness by the end of
high school.

I figured I’d ask my mom what teachers said about me early on.

“They loved your artwork, but you weren’t a good student. You were barely making the classes. And your reading was poor.”

OK, this wasn’t totally a surprise. Neither of my parents spoke English when we started school, and they definitely never read to us, or helped us with homework. My mom kept reiterating this fact to me on the phone this morning so I wouldn’t feel bad about what she said about my schoolwork. (And my hairstyle surely couldn’t have helped.)

But truth be told, I don’t feel bad about my early struggles. I’m actually a bit proud about proving one of my guidance counselors wrong by becoming a journalist even though it seemed ludicrous at the time for a kid who couldn’t write English was aspiring to become a reporter.

“Mrs. Klein thought you were the greatest kid,” my mom added at the end of our conversation about what a crummy student I was.

“What?” I said.

Mrs. Klein was my third grade teacher and I remember her red hair and her tough but loving teaching style to this day. She once put a wad of gum I was chewing against her classroom rules in my pocket and squished it. She said, “tell your mother how it got there.”

She took no prisoners but she definitely taught me a lot.

My mom recently ran into Mrs. Klein and supposedly she raved about what a good kid I was.

Being the cynic I am, I figured she was lying to make my mom feel good. My mom told her I became a journalist and she said: “I knew she would turn out ok.”

Not a glowing prediction of what I would do with my life, but I’ll take it.