When I got out of college I was faced with a harsh reality: It wasn’t easy to get a job for a major newspaper in New York.
I was rejected by some, never replied to by others. And soon I realized my dream of becoming a big city reporter would take longer than I, well, dreamed.
Surely someone was to blame for my failure.
Maybe my parents. They both immigrated from Istanbul, Turkey, and struggled to learn the language. Aside from making us speak Greek growing up, which gave me a huge disadvantage when it came to writing and reading in English, they had no connections to New York’s publishing empire.
OK, so my mom was always encouraging of what ever I wanted to do, but my dad thought journalism was a trash profession. He did come around eventually and was proud as hell of me, but hey, his early negativism could have doomed me starting out.
What about the system? I was a first-generation Greek-Turkish kid without a fancy Ivy League degree. What did the editors think when they saw my name on my resume “TAHMINCIOGLU”. That was probably working against me.
It must have been my university. Not one professor at Hofstra University told me how hard it would be to land a job at a newspaper or any publication for that matter. They just spent all their time teaching me crap about the profession.
There are many reasons for my failures in my life. I could write a book about them. Don’t get me started on my bad acne problem.
Alas, no one gives a rat’s patootie about why you failed.
You can whine about the reasons until the cows come home but typically you get zippo sympathy.
That’s what’s happening to poor Trina Thompson. If you haven’t heard about her yet, she’s the New York city grad who’s suing her college because she can’t find a job.
From the Associated Press:
Trina Thompson filed a lawsuit last week against Monroe College in Bronx Supreme Court. The 27-year-old is seeking the $70,000 she spent on tuition.
Thompson says she’s been unable to find gainful employment since she received her information technology degree in April.
I understand her frustration. There’s a lot of marketing by educational institutions lately to all the poor souls who are out of work, or wondering how to find better jobs. Email boxes everywhere are overflowing with ads from colleges, universities and online institutions hawking their educational programs as career nirvana.
(I tell people all the time these programs may not be right for everyone so think long and hard before you sign up. Here’s a link to a story I did on online courses.)
It would be nice if we could hold their feet to the fire after we pony up the big bucks for a degree, but that’s not how it works.
We can’t blame others for our failure even if in some way they are to blame for it.
Successful people are the ones that rise above challenges and blame. I have a whole chapter in my book, “From the Sandbox to the Corner Office”, that looked at the many challenges leaders faced. One guy’s dad was a raging alcoholic, another CEO was an amputee, yet another stuttered throughout his youth and stutters until this day.
Boy, they had a lot to blame. But did they, no.
I hate to say it, but we parents should be slapped around for putting these let’s-blame-someone-for-our-challenges bologna into kid’s heads. Our kids feel entitled and that’s because we’ve entitled them.
Trina’s mom has come to her defense, according to the New York Post:
“She’s angry,” said Thompson’s mother, Carol. “She’s very angry at her situation. She put all her faith in them, and so did I. They’re not making an effort.”
Ah, effort.
It’s that pesky little thing that actually does get us what we want in life.
I’m guessing Trina didn’t get an “A” for effort in school.
(UPDATE: ONLINE DEGREE SCAM WARNING
Speaking about useless education, I just got this email for a spokeswoman at the Better Business Bureau on online degree scams:
BBB has received complaints from students across the country who paid hundreds of dollars for a diploma—one person even paid $1,400 for a Doctorate of Medicine degree—but later received the bad news from college admissions offices, potential employers and military recruiters that their credentials were worthless.
Here are the four websites the BBB is cautioning consumers to be wary about -
*Belford High School
*Belford University
*Jefferson High School Online
*Vencer High School Online)
August 4th, 2009 at 11:06 am
One of my techie news sites, Slashdot.org, picked up on this story, too. The thing that really irks me is the sense of entitlement–that this young lady feels as if a job should have been handed to her along with her diploma. Her *three month* odyssey without a job post-graduation is only the first part of her wake-up call. I hope the court quashes this one quickly.
She paid for an education, and she received one.
Now, she’s going to get another kind of education.
The only way her case stands a chance is if the institution guaranteed job placement, and I’ve never known an institution that will make such a guarantee. All she has done is ensured that her story will become a common illustration in management symposiums, employment blogs, and college course discussions and case studies. In some ways, she may be shooting herself in the foot. After all, who would want to hire someone who has demonstrated herself impatient (filing suit after only a three month job search in a down economy), having an attitude of entitlement, and lacking common sense (as someone once said, “It’s the economy, stupid”).
August 4th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
A three month job search? Three? Months? This young lady has a lot to learn.
August 4th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Three months is nothing…a snap of a finger. When I first moved to Hawaii in 1998 the unemployment rate was 2% and it took me over 7 months to find a job that I wanted. What I did in the meantime was to find a job…any job. Any job is better then no job when there’s bills to pay. She may run into the same thing that I did, where I was “over-qualified” for lots of jobs, but she needs to keep trying and to bite her tongue and hope that her lawsuit didn’t shoot herself in the foot and alienate people.
August 4th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
In this age of social networking, it’s a good question to ask. Ho will she be perceived by employers now? Maybe her notoriety actually propel her, or it could doom her. The world is so fickle…who knows.
August 5th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Eve,
In some weird way, this lawsuit may be a great thing. I’ve seen a lot of television commercials and received calls from some of these schools that promise or strongly suggest you can find a high paying job after you finish. Ironically, going to an Ivy League School has promised nothing but a great education and access to a lot of power players, but not a guarantee of success. IF nothing else, it may make these schools rethink how they package their programs to people.
August 5th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
On one hand, this young woman does indeed have a lot to learn. And she will. She has to learn patience. Her actions to me is an indication that she will make her presence known. It also shows she has some guts.
At 27 and with a Bachelor’s degree, obviously she did not acquire a thirst for knowledge or a desire for success at a time in her life when we tend to settle for a lot less.There seems to be more to this story than meets the eye.
One aspect of parenting that is hard to determone is exactly to what extent you are attentive to their needs and not enabling your child to interdependence. You must allow mistakes to happen. You must learn to listen to what your child is saying and have the diligence to either not become angry or prevent that often hard to stop burst of jocular laughter. As parents you have to allow humiliation, but never embarrass or embellish the mistake your child may make. It is amazing to me how I even tell my 28 year old son to be careful going down the steps or call me when you get home. That is how I am.
When my 28 year old son Steven was about three, we had the good , old fashioned charcoal grill cook out. With the little ones and bigger kids running around, I kept a sharp eye on that grill. I cooked all the food and even sat right next to it while I ate. I had a routine that I still have of tipping the grill over and placing the charcoals in a metal can. You never know when a straggler might come by or if maybe you’d like a late night burger and often if they are in an enclosed container, the heat would go out and you could use the charcoal that is left anytime. It heats quicker. Any way, I’d place the can of hot charcoal outside the fence where no one would get to it. This one time, a piece of charcoal fell away from the can. By the time I lifted the grill back up, sure enough, Fast Steve decided to pick up the hot charcoal to help me. WEll, he burned his middle finger. I took care of the burn and felt sad. He was helping me. And for several weeks, his burned, boo-boo middle finger would be sticking out at any one he would encounter. It was hilarious and I still chuckle. However, he never knew the hilarity and I would stare down anyone who thought a three year old was being rude by giving you his middle finger. However, even at 28, I keep Steven far away from the grill always. Let that be a lesson, you will protect your children long after they leave you. It is your job to be nurturing, and their job to be nurtured. And that last forever, I hope.
That is the way I am.
August 6th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Hey Sean,
You make a good point. If these institutions promise you specific targets you’ll hit, timeframes for finding work, etc., then I think Trina may have a case. False claims are indeed illegal in this country.
My main point was not expecting others to make your life easy, to hook you up, and then blaming them if things don’t work out. But you’re right, false claims are a no no. If her suit makes these institutions more cautious then she would have done some good.