This weekend I stayed at my mother’s house in New York for Greek Easter and I was unlucky enough to take a walk down memory lane.
When I was a teenager I had a horrible case of acne. This reality was made even more unbearable by the fact that I had two beautiful sisters with perfect skin.
I was reminded of this episode of my life when my sister Mary found her yearbook Saturday and we all went through it; my sister, me, and our two daughters. She came to the page with her head shot and there was this gorgeous teenager. She told my daughter and her daughter about all the guys that had crushes on her and the girls that hated her, and I sat there nodding.
You see, my youth was very different from hers, and there was no high school year book for me at my mom’s house because I threw it out, or maybe burned it many years ago.
I hated the way I looked and it will always be a raw piece of my history.
I thought about this last week, when Susan Boyle, the British singing show phenomenon was making the rounds on the nation’s talk shows.
You know, the only reason she’s become so famous is because people think she’s ugly. Come on, we all know that. How could such a homely woman sing so beautifully? We were all shocked.
This mentality also finds its way into the workplace, unfortunately.
What do you think happens to the Susan Boyles of the world when they apply for a gig?
An ugly person can’t file a charge with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission if they’re told they didn’t get a job because they’re not attractive enough.
Looks are everything, especially now. I write today about the importance of your appearance in this tough economy on MSNBC.com.
I know, it’s disheartening to hear that you won’t be judged solely on experience and background but also by the way you look.
Unfortunately, that’s just part of human nature, and the tough economy is only making image more important, said David Sarwer, associate professor of psychology for the Center for Human Appearance at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine.
“For hiring managers, it’s clearly a buyer’s market,” he said. “They can be more selective … not only hold out for the most qualified but the person who’s the most physically attractive.”
It’s a harsh reality.
Yeah, yeah, I know all the bull about how beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But sorry folks, I lived through some of the harshest behavior as a young girl because of the way I looked. So I’m not naive enough to think the world has suddenly changed.
Coincidentally, Miss USA was crowned over the weekend.
“It feels really natural,” said Miss North Carolina USA Kristen Dalton, who was crowned Miss USA 2009, beating out 50 other beauty queens.
Nature can be cruel. But people can be even crueler.
I’m just saying.
April 20th, 2009 at 9:05 am
Hey, Eve, sorry to hear about your high school days–I can relate.
Overall, our society has placed a premium on looks, and some simply have them, and others don’t. Journalism is a great example. Think back on reporters and TV anchors of yesteryear and they were not always cover-model material. Now, however, I don’t think most of those early journalists would be able to get jobs.
It’s sad that we are so vain as a society. We idolize youth and beauty, often even if we posess neither of them.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:10 am
Hi Eve,
As a supporter of you and your columns, I disagree with you every now and then. You wrote: How could such a homely woman sing so beautifully? I don’t think she’s homely at all. When I see people who have a twinkle in their eyes, I just wish I had that, too. Susan inspires and delights — more reasons her beauty stands out. BTW, your boldness is beautiful, too.
Pati
April 21st, 2009 at 7:35 am
you know pati, you’re right. she does have a twinkle in her eye. she’s more pleasing to watch than a beauty queen.
April 21st, 2009 at 9:59 am
Eve,
I agree this sort of discrimmination exists in the work place sometimes. I say sometimes because I see the severity of this depends on what industry people work in.
When I was in engineering, team members that were “favored” or did well were the ones that could come up with numbers quickly and had confidence in presenting. Not necessarily on their looks at all because it is a men dominated area of work and I think men have it easier with looks there.
When I was in marketing, the unattractive people really had to be aggressive with voicing their opinions to get attention. The attractive people did not get as much criticism or rather got more attention.
But overall, I believe that everyone should pay attention to how they present themselves. You don’t have to be a supermodel to be successful in the non-hollywood world. If you put an effort in looking neat, being healthy, then it definitely helps.
May 2nd, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Regarding the comments on Obama’s administration bringing on “over-regulation” and rising the cost to businesses. Listen carefully, the party is over. You can characterize MORE regulation as “over regulation” if you want. The reality is MOST of the regulations that kept businesses, particularly the financial sector, honest were wiped out by our former Republican Presidents. This is what brought us to the current crisis that we face. This businesses have been ripping off, living off of, and lying to the public for decades. We have to have some sanity brought into the situation or else we are lost. So, CEOs will make a few million less a year. If you want our society to remain the America that we were raised to believe it would always be, changes, sweeping changes, have to be made. Given the lack of proper oversight over the last 8 years, the lack of concientious self governance of corporations, more regulations is exactly what we need to keep things in line. You want to call it over regulation just to get folks in arms? Go ahead. The reality is what is really comes down to is responsible regulation for the good of all. The same goes for taxes.