An out-of-work gladiator goes to the unemployment office looking to get benefits.

The woman behind the counter asks: “Did you kill last week?”

Gladiator: “No.”

Woman: “Did you try to kill last week?”

Gladiator: “Yes.”

Woman: “Now listen, this is your last week of unemployment insurance. Either you kill somebody next week or we’re going to have to change your status.”

OK, so unemployment insurance isn’t that old, but it has been around for a long time. And now, President Obama wants to make changes to the program to help struggling employees, changes not seen in the history of jobless benefits, which date back to 1930s in this country.

All of you need to know right now which states are threatening not to accept federal stimulus money just so they won’t have to expand benefits to a broader segment of out-of-work people.

According to a New York Times story today, the Republican governors of Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Texas, Alaska and Idaho, and the Democratic governor of Tennessee have all raised concerns about Obama’s plan to expand unemployment insurance, and workers in many of these states are doing what they can to encourage their governors to give them a break already and allow the 74 year old program to finally come into the 21st Century.

The first government run system of unemployment benefits was introduced in England in 1911. It took more than two decades later to make it to our shores with Wisconsin being the first state to enact a program in 1932 as the Great Depression threw so many people out of work.

In 1935, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the Social Security bill and that included the federally mandated unemployment program that was financed jointly by federal and state taxes.

There have been attempts over the years to revamp the system, but those have failed. Now Obama thinks he can fend off the partisanship and finally give the program a facelift.

Here’s a rundown on what the administration has put into the stimulus package from CNN/Money:

The Recovery Act will help unemployed workers by:
– Increasing unemployment checks by $25 per week
– Excluding the first $2,400 of unemployed benefits from federal tax
– Allowing more individuals to qualify for extended unemployment benefits

Taxpayers receiving unemployment compensation will get the weekly pay increase and tax exemption of $2,400 during 2009. If taxpayers are withholding federal taxes from their benefit, they may want to adjust the withholding based on this change. All individuals who received unemployment in 2009, should reduce the reported unemployment benefits by $2,400 (but not below $0) when they file their 2009 return.

The bill also lengthens the eligibility of extended unemployment benefits. The program provides up to 33 extra weeks of unemployment benefits once they exhaust the regular 26 weeks. The extended benefits are available for individuals who exhaust regular unemployment benefits by Dec. 31, 2009.

The plan is to expand benefits, for the first time, to part-time workers and for individuals that come in and out of the work force — you know, people who take time off to care for a child or sick parent. Many of them are denied benefits because they were not working for the required number of quarters prior to being laid off.

It all make sense, and will be a lifeline to so many people struggling to find jobs in this economy.

But some politicians are putting their pride before they’re duty to help their constituents.

The Times piece doesn’t quote any of the governors directly. They probably don’t have the guts to make a case for this directly to their citizens.

It does include a written statement from Gov. Rick Perry of Texas, who sent a letter to Obama:

“I remain opposed to using these funds to expand existing government programs, burdening the state with ongoing expenditures long after the funding has dried up.”

It might be a good idea for Perry and all the other governors threatening not to expand the program to send a letter right to the working stiffs in their states.

Clearly, Kelley Joyce, a jobless resident of South Carolina quoted in the article won’t be happy.

In response to Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina considering rejecting the stimulus money because of the beefing up of jobless benefits she says: “Apparently because he has money and he doesn’t have to worry about everybody else who doesn’t have money.”

It may be time for workers to make like gladiators and force our elected officials to start worrying, no?

Just in case you thought I came up with the gladiator joke above, I wish. It was Mel Brooks.

Here’s a clip from “The History of the World”:

A new word for the English lexicon — jindaled.

Basically it’s when a lot is riding on you but instead of hitting it out of the park you are publicly humiliated.

Poor Gov. Bobby Jindal of Louisiana.

He seems like a nice guy, really, and he had aspirations of someday becoming president.

Unfortunately, he’s got major egg on his face after giving the Republican response to President Obama’s speech to Congress on Tuesday.

If you guys didn’t get to witness his self destruction, his speech was dripping with bad cliches, he was sort of sing songy; and he even evoked the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina, which, if he didn’t remember, was a debacle for a Republican administration.

Here’s a YouTube video of it:

Even his own Republican supporters have been panning Jindal’s performance.

This from conservative writer David Brooks: “I thought Bobby Jindal gave possibly the worst response to a Democratic speaker in the history of democracy.”

People are even comparing Jindal to that dorky guy from the show “30 Rock” Kenneth the Page.

It seems slightly unfair that one speech can torpedo a person’s career, but sometimes a public embarrassment can do just that, and I’m not talking about just a widespread embarrassment like Jindal’s.

It could happen when you gather a group of colleagues together at your office and try to convey a new project, or initiative and end up falling on your face. You could be giving a speech at an industry event and come off as uninspiring, or worse, dumb. Or it may be your turn on a conference call to update your division on the latest product launch and you end up stuttering your way through.

I have heard stories from employees who say they can link their career demise at a company to one or a series of public embarrassments like the ones I described.

But public humiliation doesn’t always have to be a career killer. Remember Mel Gibson’s drunken display when he yelled at cops and said some pretty nasty things? Didn’t seem to hurt his career. (Well, his movie Apocalypto was pretty crummy.)

So, how can you keep yourself from making a public screw up, and how can you come back from a major reputation pummeling?

“First, go back to your strengths,” says Shawn Driscoll, CEO of Succeed Coaching and Development.

“Where Jindal went wrong is he took on something that wasn’t his natural strength (and is for Obama) a prepared speech without an audience. Jindal is a face to face, informal speaker, much better on the fly than scripted. He put himself in a situation where he was not as strong as the person he was following, Obama.”

Driscoll teaches her clients something she calls the ARC:

Acknowledge and be really authentic. Yep, I know that speech missed the mark; or whatever the embarrassment was.

Reframe it. Basically put it in perspective. “It was one speech. We’ve got a lot of work to do and I’m committed. Here’s how I plan to go about it.”

Choose a different venue/approach going forward. Go back to leading from your own strengths. Do what works well for you. You can quietly work on getting better at the “soft spot” but the truth is, it can be a real waste of energy and effort to put a bunch of time into trying to shore up the weakness or go on the defensive trying to justify what happened. Go back to what you do really well and are known for. Knock it out of the park that way. Play things on YOUR terms.

And Shelley Canter, author of “Make the Right Career Move” says you have two choices after such a blunder:

(1) ignore the public flub but learn from it, prepare well, and dazzle your next audience.

(2) Following the old adage of “the best defense is a good offense”, make a light-hearted acknowledgement of the flub in passing (no long-winded act of contrition), learn from the bad experience, and dazzle your next audience. The strategy is largely the same, the only choice being whether to acknowledge the blunder publicly or not. But the thing that will save a career is owning the mistake (the only way to learn from experience), learning from the experience, and working hard to perform differently and better the next time.

Hopefully there won’t be a next time. Driscoll believes, “People can forgive one misstep. But not two.”

Yikes. That’s a lot of pressure.

I’m willing to give Jindal a second chance. We all should. Remember: “There but for the grace of God go I.”

What do you all think? Did you ever screw up publicly? Did you come back? If so, how did you do it?

Is it “idiotic” or “socialism” if someone supports worker rights?

President Obama’s speech to the nation last night overshadowed the Senate confirmation of a new Secretary of Labor, Hilda Solis.

After nearly two months of trying to derail her appointment, many Republicans got on board and confirmed the congresswoman from California in an 80 to 17 vote.

Because of her strong pro-worker views and record, the business community fears her and the labor movement loves her.

I wrote about Solis after Obama chose her in this blog, including how she’s expected to support minimum wage hikes and unionization, among other things.

And this week, in my MSNBC.com column, I also included her appointment as a reason many experts believe Obama is pro-worker.

Obama’s choice for labor secretary has received a big round of applause from labor advocates — and a big thumbs down from business.

Hilda Solis, a Democratic congresswoman from California, is well known for her pro-labor fervor.

“She has worked for the rights of poor and disenfranchised workers; to increase minimum wages; for workers’ rights to unionize and expect fair treatment, benefits and wages; and for green jobs,” says Myrtle Bell, associate professor of management at the University of Texas at Arlington.

The column looks largely at Obama’s initiatives for the working stiff and how he may end up doing more for U.S. workers than any president in the last two decades.

The story prompted some angry emails.

Dave writes:

Every time one of Obama’s minions opens their mouth the stock market declines further and more of us loose our jobs. Socialism is not the way to prosperity. On the other hand capitalism, when unhindered by the government, has proven to be the best job creator ever.

The sooner we get Obama, and the democratic idiots in congress unelected, the sooner meaningful recovery can take place.

For saying Obama is good for workers I must lump you into the idiot category right along with congress.

While I thought that was a cheap shot, the email says something about how we view worker rights and unions in this country. Any time someone promises to level the playing field and protect workers, it’s immediately labeled socialism.

Is Solis a socialist because she advocated for disenfranchised workers?

“It’s economic Armageddon!” Roll over workers!

This economic downturn has yet to hit the dire levels of the severe slump in the early 1980s, but that’s not keeping employers from gouging every little bit out of their workforces.

Unions are being forced to give in to unprecedented concessions. Many workers at all levels are being asked to take chunks of time off without pay, a process known as furloughs. And for many employees the money they’ll have to chip in for health care will hit record amounts this year.

But such cuts didn’t work in the 1980s, why do people think they’ll work now.

Here’s an excerpt from an article on union concession from 1989 in the New York Times:

Job security replaced wage increases in the 1980’s as the top contract goal of many American labor unions. But with the decade almost over, the unions have had precious little success in winning employment guarantees.

Unions have repeatedly found themselves forced to make wage concessions to prevent companies from laying off workers or closing plants. Trying to get more mileage out of these concessions, many unions have sought explicit job guarantees, usually without success.

As a result, manufacturing workers have seen their wage increases sharply curtailed, while business has generally preserved a free hand to lay off workers to cut costs and protect profits, many labor and business experts say.

Today, it’s hard not to take these cuts without a smile, say many economists and business gurus, because the alternative is the unemployment line. But I wonder how much of this is fear tactics to get workers to give up even more than they have already done over the past two decades.

Sometimes it seems things are not as bad as they seem.

While all these companies begging the government for a bailout were supposedly falling into financial abyss, the top executives at many of these firms were acting like everything was just dandy.

Merrill Lynch paid out $3.6 billion in bonuses late last year while the government was crafting plans for the financial services firm to be bought by Bank of America. Also, we all know the endless stories of executives at a host of companies heading to lavish company retreats at a time when they’re laying off thousands. And who could forget the auto industry CEOs heading to Washington in private jets while they were crying poverty to their workers and the nation.

Rank and file workers, as in any economic downturn, take the brunt of the financial hit. That’s just the way it’s always been.

But workers everywhere should not walk blindly into the recessionary buzz saw.

If your employer decides to cut your benefits, retirement, health insurance, etc., it might be a good time to look at what you were promised when you were hired. Do you have anything in writing that states you would get certain perks as part of your job? Also, there is nothing to keep a group of workers from calling a meeting and asking for managers to explain exactly why certain cuts are going to be made and whether there are ways to do other belt tightening that wouldn’t hurt workers at much.

As for furloughs, they seem to be all the rage right now as company after company do the copy cat thing and impose them whether they are necessary or not. It’s a great boost the firm’s bottom line but employees need to know their rights. Hourly workers can be furloughed under existing labor laws, but that doesn’t mean you work off the clock to make up for the time off. Some supervisors will want you to do that, even encourage you to do so, but you guys need to stand up for yourselves. If you’re afraid, you should approach managers as a group. Put a call into your local department of labor and know what your rights are in your state.

Also, firms just can’t keep furloughed salaried employees, according to the Department of Labor. If you’re asked to take unpaid time off more than one week during a year I’d call the labor department ASAP.

And unions have to stand by their guns during negotiations because so many of these firms squeezing workers will still be around in 25 years and good luck getting back what you’ve giving back.

We all need to start acting like there will be life after this recession. I remember the downturn of the early 1980s. It also seemed like we would never recover. Well, we did?

In the recent United Auto Worker talks for Ford Motor Company, the union may be taking more of a future view than many of us are.

One of the key concessions they made was accepting stock contributions instead of cash into the union’s retirement health care fund. That means the union leadership is banking on Ford being around for a long time. If it goes belly up, the stock will be worthless.

Many people want us to think it’s the end of the world economically, but in reality, according to most economists I’ve talked to, it’s not. It’s bad for many individuals, but the majority of people have job and the majority of companies are profitable.

If we all live like it’s our last night on earth, we’re all going to end up with a killer of a hangover.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite poems by Dorothy Parker:

–The Flaw In Paganism–

Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.)

I traveled this past weekend to Mystic, CT, to meet my best buddy for some alone time together. Basically we checked out the local haunts, stayed up really late and did whatever we felt like doing. (Something two moms with kids rarely do.)

Since I’m never off the clock, I had my trusty reporter’s notebook with me and interviewed just about everyone we met — people in bars, store owners, waiters and waitresses.

As you might expect, we met a lot of people who had recently lost their jobs.

One guy, we called “Nice Kevin” because he was really sweet, had just lost a plum job at Pfizer, the pharmaceutical company. Despite his bad luck, he was out with his friends at the Harp and Hound Pub having a good time and trying to look on the bright side. No matter what, he had his friends and he’d be able to weather unemployment.

We also met “Beatbox Bob” at BravoBravo restaurant. He was a 71 year old man who recently lost his job at a small business. We called him “Beatbox” because he made percussion sounds with his mouth; something you wouldn’t expect from an old guy.

Here’s a great example of beatboxing just in case you’ve never heard it:

Bob needed to work, even though he was past the standard retirement age, and was pretty bummed out he lost his gig. But he was out at a local bar, by himself, talking with and entertaining the bartenders and patrons. (OK, I sang some songs with Bob as well.) Based on the staff’s familiarity with Bob, he probably spent a lot of time there.

At a time when so many people are losing their jobs, and there are more stories out there about unemployed folks losing it and taking it out on their families, we need to focus on finding ways to let off steam and make ourselves feel better. I’m not saying unemployment causes people do commit crimes. I don’t buy that. But there are studies that suggest people can get hotter under the collar during times of joblessness.

This from a LiveScience.com story:

Several studies have found that suicides as well as domestic violence spike for the unemployed. While family murder-suicides are relatively uncommon, such events can be tied to poor economic situations such as the current recession, said Sampson Blair, a sociologist at University of Buffalo.

“I expect an increase in such incidents over the next few years because economic strain on families provokes depression and desperation,” Blair said.

A good way to counteract such desperation, many psychology experts say, is camaraderie. You’ve lost the intense workplace camaraderie you had and it’s important to try and replace it pronto.

“Often going out with friends is a great antidote to the type of loss like the loss of a job, particularly if those friends are supportive, and/or they have been through a similar experience,” says Jason Greenberg, a psychologist from New York.

But, he adds, “I could imagine scenarios where going out with friends would not be ideal, especially if they are work friends and did not lose their job, that could get tricky. It depends on what they receive from the camaraderie they find once they’re out of a job. Do they feel connected to others or more alienated? Supported or further beaten down?”

So, basically, you have to find a dog pack that works for you, one that you feel comfortable with. And I’m not talking about cyber networking here folks. You need to get out and actually be with people real time.

And it doesn’t have to necessarily be a pack.

My friend Mary and I can pull each other out of a slump pretty quickly, and we’ve always been able to do that ever since we met when we were around 15.

There is something about a person that knows you better than you know yourself to kick your butt out of self pity.

Do you have a friend, or pack that helps you?

There’s this country song I’ve always hated called “Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys.” I hate it because it’s about discouraging kids to do what they want.

Here’s a sampling:

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Don’t let ‘em pick guitars and drive them old trucks
Make ‘em be doctors and lawyers and such
Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys
They’ll never stay home and they’re always alone
Even with someone they love

I started thinking about how much I hate this song this morning when I read a story in the Wall Street Journal about the owner of the peanut factory that allegedly sent out tainted peanuts and ended up killing nine people and sickening hundreds of others.

Turns out the peanut guy, Stewart Parnell, wanted to be an oceanographer when he was growing up and actually studied oceans at the Florida Institute of Technology.

I’ve written in this blog about what a greedy jerk Parnell, owner of Peanut Corp. of America, must be if he would risk getting people sick with his products for profit. But when I saw the photo of him in the Wall Street Journal today of him testifying before Congress, after reading that he had dreams of studying oceans, I felt a tinge of sympathy for the guy.

So many kids have dreams, but jaded adults often try to derail those dreams. The harsh reality of life, many of us think, will set these dumb kids straight and they’ll end up following the money.

Indeed, our society has become all about the money at every end of the economic landscape.

In the past few years, Ivy League educated individuals have opted more and more to head to Wall Street instead of using their incredible educations to help make the world a better place. Some people even think this influx of Ivy Leaguers to financial markets is what caused the market crash.

Bloomberg’s Kevin Hassett writes: When Wall Street was run by people randomly selected from the population, it was able to survive everything. After the best and brightest took over, it died the first time real-estate prices dropped 20 percent.

There is something to be said about people following their passions and not just the almighty dollar.

There are a lot of folks I know on Wall Street that actually love the excitement of trading, thrived on it. That may have been their childhood dream and that’s OK.

But for many of us, that’s probably not the best path for long-term life fulfillment.

Many of the executives I’ve interviewed over the years, who were successful and happy (the happy part is key), all told me that their parents encouraged their silly dreams early on and were always their advocates no matter how silly people thought their dreams were.

One interview I did for my book, “From the Sandbox to the Corner Office,” was with Linda Dillman, executive vice president at Wal-Mart. She talked a lot about how her father helped encourage her every dream.

Here’s an excerpt from my book:

What has stayed with Dillman most about her dad was his undying support of what ever she and her two sisters and one brother wanted to do. “There’s a certain freedom you get or courage when you know you are going to be supported by your parents no matter what direction you take. There were very few things dad would have said, ‘you should do that.’”

Sometimes it’s not just that parents didn’t support us. Sometimes we forget what we really loved and the dreams we once reveled in.

Right now there are a lot of people who are out of work, or worried about losing their jobs. Many of you are wondering what your next step should be, especially if your in a dying industry. My question: Did you spend years in a profession, an industry, you never really enjoyed? This is your chance to go for what you want. It may not be as secure or lucrative. But it will fulfill you in so many other ways.

I’m not sure what Parnell’s parents did. Whether they encouraged their son and he just gave up on his dreams. But it’s something we should all think about for ourselves and our children.

His mother Zelda was quoted in the WSJ article saying: “I think he dreamed he’d be on Jacques Cousteau’s boat.”

Oh the dreaded rejection letter.

Many of us have gotten one or two or ten during our careers. They are typically polite and encouraging. Something along the lines of, “you were an outstanding candidate but we decided to hire someone who had more direct experience..” Yada, yada, yada.

The letters often sound canned. There’s a good reason for that. They are!

Sorry folks, most hiring managers don’t take time to write you a personalized rejection letter or email. The last thing they want to be doing is telling you you didn’t get the gig, so they want to make the process as easy as possible for them.

A recent HR faux pas at Twitter proves my point.

The social networking site recently had an opening for a product manager and after they ended up hiring an individual they sent out a mass email to all the candidates that didn’t make the cut, about 185 of them. Unfortunately, the email included the names and emails of all the people that were rejected, a major privacy no no and a slap in the face of all the applicants who thought they were special.

This is what the email said:

Thank you so much for taking the time to apply for the Business
Product Manager position at Twitter, Inc. During the course of our
recruiting efforts, we come across many fine candidates such as you,
and we carefully evaluate each candidate’s background and interests
against our projected workloads and staffing needs. Although we are
impressed with your background, the hiring committee has decided to
move forward with a different candidate.

We will keep your information on file for six months in case future
opportunities arise.

Turns out, none of the applicants were that special. And, if I had to guess, Twitter is probably not even keeping “your information on file,” at least not an active file.

This isn’t just a Twitter thing people, this is how the process works. It sucks seeing the sausage made, I know.

This is frustrating for so many of you out there. The one thing you want to know, the one thing that can help in your future job search is if these HR goobers would just tell you why you weren’t chosen.

Was it your sloppy resume? Did you have an offensive smell? Did someone in your industry dog you to the hiring manager?

I get lots of emails from readers asking me if it’s cool for them to call or email a manager to find out why they didn’t rate.

On Monday, Melinda asked:

Is it ever OK to contact the hiring manager to find out why I wasn’t chosen for a job? If this is permissible, I would like advice on how to word it. Thank you for your assistance.

It’s permissible, but good luck getting a hiring manager or HR professional to give you any information.

I’ve talked to a few hiring managers about this, and basically the answer isn’t clear cut.

If you were applying for a job at a company you already work for, then it’s definitely acceptable to go to that hiring manager and get feedback.

When it comes to outside candidates, however, HR folks are taught not to say too much about a particular hiring decision and many won’t even respond to such a request, and some will even be annoyed by it.

“Managers are schooled so much in what they write and say to applicants that they are less likely to respond if asked,” one of my HR buddies told me.

That said, if you developed a good relationship with a hiring manager over a few weeks of interviews, phone calls and emails, it may be something you can pursue.

In that case send a short email and be polite. Something like: “I know how busy you are, but if you have a moment I was hoping to get some feedback as to why I wasn’t chosen as a way to help my professional development. If not, no problem. Thanks so much for the opportunity to meet you and to get to know your company.”

Many of you don’t really know how to go about asking for feedback; and who the heck wants to really hear negative information anyway.

David Sanford, executive vice president, Client Services and managing partner of Human Resources Division at staffing firm Winter, Wyman, offers these tips:

1. Feedback is your friend. It’s hard to ask for an honest and objective review of your interview performance – especially from someone you may have only met once. But in order to do better the next time, you need to know if there are areas you need to improve. Ask the people who interviewed you for direct and honest feedback. Because it’s human nature to want to spare someone’s feelings, your interviewer may not want to share anything but generalities, especially if they think your reason for asking is to challenge their opinion or ask for a second opportunity. Realize and respect that their decision has been made and make sure they know you are seeking feedback for improvement purposes only.

2. Don’t get defensive. If you hear something you disagree with from your feedback conversation, do not get defensive and confrontational. Thank the interviewer for their time, make note of their comments and discuss them with a spouse or trusted colleague or friend to see if there is any merit. When we expose ourselves to the opinion of others and disagree with their assessment, it’s common to feel angry, bitter or defensive. Overcome these emotions and concentrate on the learning aspect of this opportunity.

3. Do something with bad feedback. No one wants to hear that their portfolio looked sloppy; they were perceived as stressed, hesitant or scattered; or their technology skills were out-of-date. But just think how each of these points can be corrected – if you know about them! When bad feedback is revealed, be prepared to put a plan in place to fix the holes in your game. Spend more time and care putting together a targeted portfolio, arrive at your interview early so you have time to relax and gather your thoughts so you don’t appear stressed, or take some refresher courses on the latest software advances in your field. Put your friends and family on your personal advisory team and bounce ideas off them for improving yourself.

Bottom line, don’t hold your breath that you’ll get a lot from hiring managers after you’re rejected, especially in this economy. These folks are inundated with resumes and they’re under the gun because of cutbacks at most companies. The last thing they want to be dealing with is an upset job seeker.

You better believe there were a lot of Twitter rejects that were seething.

The Twitter mass reject email prompted the CEO, Evan Williams, to send out another mass email to the poor souls:

It has just been brought to my attention that we just sent this note about this job with everyone’s address exposed in the cc line.

This is obviously a big mistake, and I sincerely apologize on behalf of Krissy, myself, and Twitter, Inc. We really appreciate you expressing interest in Twitter, and I can only imagine that this type of move adds insult to injury.

To be clear: Not everyone on this list even applied for this job. Some were recommended to us and entered into our applicant tracking system by employees here.

Whatever the case, I regret this mistake. Please help us reduce the impact of this error by respecting each other’s privacy.

If there’s anything I can do for you, please let me know.

Yeah, let everyone know exactly why they didn’t get the gig.

Most of the job seekers I talk to spend a lot of time on the major job sites like Monster and Careerbuilder, but I’m here to tell you not to disregard Craigslist.com.

In this tough economy, more and more business owners and hiring managers are telling me they’re turning to Craigslist these days to post job openings because it costs a fraction of what the big job boards charge.

That said, the cheaper price may also be tempting for scammers, so you should keep that in mind when you find a job that sounds right for you. But that goes for the big job boards as well. Scammers are lurking everywhere they days and you have to be diligent in making sure the firms you apply to are real; and don’t give out personal information, please!

There’s a great story in the Wall Street Journal this morning titled, “It Isn’t Always a Job Behind an Online Job Posting“:

If you’re launching an online job hunt for the first time in a while; take caution. What may look like an ad for employment may lead to something entirely different, like a hard sell for career services or job-training manuals. Or worse, it might be a plan by identity thieves to get you to share sensitive personal information via “phishing” expeditions. Some of the job postings — sometimes for positions long filled — also could be from recruiting agencies looking to collect résumés.

I know this news can be disheartening. But it proves you shouldn’t just depend on sending your resume out into cyber space as your only job-hunting plan of action.

The Internet is great, but it’s not all that.

Here’s a story I wrote a while back on ways to land a job that includes a melange of tactics:

1. Open the phone book. There’s a great profile in the Wall Street about Joyce King Thomas, a top executive at a top advertising firm. She actually was out of work for five months early on in her career and got so desperate that she opened up the phone book and started calling every ad company in the book, starting with “A”. She ended up landing a job with a small company that started with “P”.

2. Throw a party. Recently, I wrote a story about landing an interview and one of the experts offered a great piece of advice that was right on and fun. Invite 20 or 30 people, your friends and friends of friends, and network your heart out. I know, you don’t have a gig so you don’t have lots of money. But you could make the party potluck, or just order pizza. Maybe you know lots of people looking to find work or switch jobs; they’ll all be willing to make the networking celebration work.

3. Cyber network. You’ve all heard it before — get the heck on these networking sites like Facebook and LinkedIn if you haven’t already. Put up a glowing profile of yourself, and start inviting everyone you know to join your network. Before you know it you’ll have a growing group of contacts. But you just can’t wait for job offers to pour in. Start sifting through the people, people you are connected to and start asking the people you know if they could connect you with the people you want to know. Even though your friends want to help, sometimes they don’t realize how their expanding networks can fit into your career plan. (I’m updating this to include Twitter. Get on there ASAP and follow my at www.twitter.com/careerdiva. Check out the blog post I wrote on Twitter recently.)

4. Cold call. Pick up that old-fashioned tool called the telephone and call the companies where you want to work. First do a bit of homework and find out who the hiring manager for a particular job is. This will take some research. If you know a certain position is open you can find out which department that position is in and then call the head of that department. I know, this is scary. The person may hang up on you. (Then who would want to work for such a jerk anyway.) But they may be nice, tell you a bit about the firm, and promise to take a look at your resume when it comes over their desk.

5. Start a blog! Are you an expert in a certain area? Have you worked in an industry for years and have some funny stories to tell? Start a simple blog. It’s free. There is nothing better than being able to tell a hiring manager, or human resource person, you have a blog they can check out to learn more about you. But please, try not to be too personal in these professional, career-enhancing blogs. Just show off your knowledge and your humor.

Don’t just sit there and let the job-hunting monster eat you.

Are you one of the forgotten? When you lost your job did colleagues and friends start to ignore you?

When someone looses their job, it’s so hard for the people around them to figure out what to say, what to do, some of us just decide to cut the person off. Maybe we don’t make a conscious effort, but we feel uncomfortable and find ways to get around seeing that poor, unemployed soul.

Well, I’m here to tell you all to STOP IT!

Pick up the phone today. Write an email. Do anything you can to connect with your jobless friend. They need you. I’m serious.

This email came from one of my readers this morning. Rebecca felt like she became “invisible” when she lost her gig.

My husband and I used to work for the same company and were each laid off a year apart. During the year which followed my layoff, while my husband was still working, I became the invisible woman. Former coworkers would not even say “hello” when I picked my husband up from work or we ran into each other at the store.

There were no ill feelings when I left; I just think people were uncomfortable that they would be next. It is hard to endure feeling like you have a disease just because you lost your job. Simple things like “I thought of you today, miss you at work, or even better yet a lunch offer or visit would have been nice.

After my husband was laid off it was like we just never existed. Everyone knew we were struggling to find jobs in an area where none existed, and that we had our house for sale and would have to move away with small children. It would have been wonderful if someone had offered to keep the kids for a while or just called to see if we needed anything. It wasn’t like anything they said could have made it worse but being remembered would have helped a lot.

Say something to someone who has lost their job!

Simple no? SAY SOMETHING!

I know what you’re going to ask me next, “what do I say?”

Basically, they’ll just be happy if you say, “hello. Just wanted to see how you’re doing.” And offer to take them to lunch, breakfast. You have a job for god’s sake. You can afford it.

Beyond that, here are some things to keep in mind from Karen Romine, a psychotherapist in Santa Monica:

* The main challenge in this situation is that most of us project onto the laid-off person how WE’D feel if we were laid off. In most cases, this means we see them as a helpless victim who’s in real trouble. Don’t do that. The truth is, while it’s a setback, it’s not nearly as bad as we tend to think.

* Psychologically, this hits us at the survival level, in the primitive brain, so that means the perception is distorted and the stress hormones are out of proportion to the reality. The reality is that we don’t have debtors’ prisons anymore and this person will get another job and recover. But our brains take it more seriously than that.

* Show confidence in them. Say that you’re sorry it happened this way, and it sucks, and then talk about how valuable their skills and experience are, and how if you were an employer, you’d hire them as quickly as possible. Then make them a drink. Acknowledge the setback but don’t take it too seriously. And don’t work too hard to make them feel better. That tends to be an unconscious signal that makes people feel worse.

Be a friend damn it. We all know how to do that, right?

Help us all learn. Make the call now and tell us how it went. What did you say, email? How did they react?

Love can conquer all, but so many of us forget this.

With the loss of everything I used to own, the woman I love kicked me to the street and told me to take the job in the other state… Great for me. Loosing a job or business cost more than just money.

This comment was posted on Newsvine after my column on “Love and Layoffs” ran on MSNBC.com earlier this week. It’s a variation of the types of stories I’ve been hearing lately from people who are struggling with economic hardships, particularly the loss of a job.

Money is indeed the root of all evil, and it can tear apart families, lovers, friends.

All of us let it eat away at our relationships, whether we know it or not. When we’re freaked out over finances we stress out, and who do you think we take this stress out on, our spouses, lovers. It’s just the way it goes. Who else are you going to take it out on?

But we all have to be mindful of spewing too much on our better halves, of being so scared or angry that we forget about romance, love.

Some how we have to take the challenge of job loss, and use it to make our relationships stronger.

Here’s a great thought from Suzanne Griscom, a writer and editor, who’s husband was recently laid off from Microsoft:

Our finances are tight, to say the least. He was the provider. Our relationship is solid, in fact, it feels good in a way to be shoulder to shoulder with him in getting through this financial strain. It is definitely stressful, but we haven’t broken down over it, but have come closer because of it, in some ways.

I know it’s not easy folks. We have to sit back and take a deep breath.

This is a good time to get seriously organized by writing down your job-seeking goals and getting your finances in order. Try to separate the anxieties that come with job loss from your relationships.

And start thinking about why you fell in love with each other.

Here are some great tips for couples from Lynne Klippel, who survived her husband’s job loss and now has a hubby job loss blog:

1. Make the relationship a priority, decide to do whatever it takes to survive this situation and stay together. Some days you’ll feel like divorce so make a list of the reasons why you want to stay together and review it when you want to give up.
2. Spend more time together- the temptation is to pull apart but it is important to have at least one date a week where you can connect, even if it is an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen for 89 cents.
3. The unemployed man needs to establish a routine quickly with increased duties around the house. Being responsible for the laundry, shopping, or cooking will give him a sense of accomplishment, and ease the stress on the working wife. (Note from CareerDiva: I think women need this as well.)
4. Take an honest look at finances so you know where you are then enroll the kids in helping save/earn money. My kids had no allowance for 3 years but we kept track of the money in ‘the bank of Mom’. Now that we are recovered financially, that money is there to help with college needs or to get things for apartment living. Our kids were great about finding ways to save/earn money and felt like they were helping. It made them feel like a part of the solution and gave them good tools for their adult lives.
5. Wives need to get educated on the signs of depression. If hubby shows signs, get him to the doctor, even if he resists. Plus, monitor yourself for that depression. Chances are both of you are battling depression but it looks differently in men/women.
6. Get support from friends, family, and your spiritual practices. Women need a girl friend they can cry with and complain to with no judgement. I found great support from co-workers who had an out of work spouse. They were the only ones who really understood and let me blow off steam.
7. Know that a job loss is a deeper blow to most men as they are more tied to their job to define who they are. Give him lots of praise for his strengths, accomplishments, and his important role in your life. (Again note from CareerDiva: I think this is a bit of an out-dated concept. Many women define themselves through their careers today. We can debate this if you like.)
8. Laugh as much as possible. There is healing in watching old sitcoms and funny family movies. It is usually up to the woman to monitor the emotional climate of the family and lighten things up as often as possible. It sounds hokey, but it really works.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. If one of you is out of a job, it’s probably not a great idea to spurge on expensive gifts and a fancy dinner. But if I lost my job, I’d really appreciate a small box of chocolates and a foot massage, not a lecture on why I only sent out one resume last week.

How’s your relationship surviving this economy? Any low-cost romance ideas?

Here’s a clip from one of my favorite romantic flicks:

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”