What if someone came to you when you were 13 and told you to forget about following your dream of becoming a doctor, an artist, or the president of the United States?
That’s sort of what’s happening right now in the shape of career services geared toward teens.
There is an increasing desire among parents to figure out what their kids are going to become when they grow up earlier and earlier. With college costs skyrocketing, few parents want to see their kids floundering from major to major during college and ending up on the five or six year graduation plan.
That has prompted some parents to get there kids aptitude testing as early as 12 years old so they can find out fast if they’re cut out to be lawyers or botanists, or what ever wacky career kids get it in their head to pursue.
A young man from Illinois I interviewed in my MSNBC.com column this week wanted to become a surgeon until, that is, his mom got him to a career counseling service that told him he just wasn’t cut out for the profession. The career counselors gave him a dexterity test and the poor kid failed miserably.
Coincidentally, the day I interviewed this kid I had an appointment with an ear doctor because I’ve been having trouble hearing through my right ear. The doctor was also a surgeon so I told him about the story I was writing and whether a test like that could really determine whether someone should pursue medicine or not.
He said, “no way.” There are very few people who are naturals when it comes to surgery, he added, “most of us have to learn this.”
Then he went on to joke about how bad his dexterity was as he poked my inner ear with a sharp object. Very funny.
Anyway, when I got back to my office I decided to take one of these career/aptitude tests and see if I was really cut out to be a journalist. I went online and found a free test that took only a few minutes to take. I was honest with everything on the test but my birth date. I wanted the test to think I was a young kid. (Guys, if you take this, don’t give out your personal information and don’t buy anything.)
So, what did the test think I should do with my life?
No, not journalism.
I was cut out for, drum roll…..
Eve, your test reveals that Government/Policy may be a great fit for you.
Seriously folks. Here are some sample job titles that would work for me:
Urban and regional planner; state legislator; tax examiner; judge; municipal clerk.
Tax examiner!
Wow, never would have thought that. I hate doing my own taxes.
Anyway, the point of all this is these tests blow. Well, they don’t blow, but they definitely can’t tell you what you should do with the rest of your life.
Is it a smart idea to be filling kids heads with “nos” when maybe we should be filling their little heads with “yeses”? When I say, yes, I mean, why not encourage them to follow their dreams and maybe knock around a bit until they figure it all out? I know many people who change their career paths several times, well into their 40s and 50s.
I love what I do. I get up every morning and can’t wait to do my job. I miss it when I’m out on vacation, or in bed sick. Chances are a career test at 12, about the time I decided to become a reporter, would have tried to convince me to take another path.
In all honesty, my guidance counselor in junior high school laughed out loud when I told her I wanted to be a journalist when I grew up. My grades in English were horrific, and she stomped on my dreams like she would a big hairy spider.
When I got home I told my mother what had happened. She hugged me, wiped away a tear or two, and said, in her broken English, “that lady is stupid. You can do what you want.”
Career dreams are part aptitude part want. But often the “want” part is the most important part.
October 28th, 2008 at 11:41 am
Eve,
You are like many of us out here in the real world. Guidance counselors are a tough lot. I remember we had one in our school Bishop Dunne in Dallas that was a friend. Even with the age difference between us we got along great and I would hang out in their offices sometimes. Her advice not to purchase an Opel Cadet (my 1st car) which I saved money for was right on. But the aptitude tests and my in ability to touch type marked me for anything that was not IT related. I can point now at my IQ test which was given after the aptitude test it came in so high I was sure I would be an astronaut. But here I am 30+ years later as an IT leader wishing I had started down this road sooner.
October 28th, 2008 at 11:56 am
I’m sorry, but who are the idiot parents doing this? Is nothing sacred these days???
I usually have a “whatever works for you and yours” attitude towards different parenting and education styles, but this makes me want to wring someone’s neck. Or, find the closest commune and raise my daughter.
Very interesting topic in this election year. We will have or could have had the first woman president, the first woman vice president or the first mixed-race president. All of which were very academically gifted, ambitious and probably just the type who would have wanted to take one of these tests. What if they would have?
As for parents worrying about college tuition, okay, I see your point (a little). But, what’s wrong with saying “hey - you got four years on me, then you’re on your own.” Motivation versus demotivation, folks. And, what about the valuable lessons you learn when finding out what you’re NOT good at?
October 28th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Some years back I took an career related aptitude test at a state workforce commission, and the facilitator shook her head and said very apologetically that I scored high in the creative fields, and that it didn’t match up with the high demand jobs I might be able to get free training in.
I couldn’t convince her that working with computers, particularly programming, was a creative endeavor. She just didn’t get it that something that required a certain level of logic and discipline could also require the creativity to think outside the proverbial box and find new ways of doing things. Shame
A few years later when working in technical support and earning a reputation for being able to creative find root problems if not always able to resolve them, I participated in a girls computer camp where a bunch of women working with computers came in for an evening to talk with the girls. One of the women, a very well known game programmer, talked about how much creativity was involved to code elegantly. I wish I’d remembered the name of that facilitator to share that story with her.
October 28th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
I can see this from both angles. While I do think it is wrong to try to peg kids for specific careers very early, I also acknowledge that, contrary to popular mythology, not everyone can grow up to be President of the United States. I encourage my kids to dream big dreams, but I also try to help them understand that not everyone gets to be (nor should everyone be) a Fortune-500 executive, top-notch surgeon, or Nobel-winning researcher. That doesn’t mean that they can’t dream those dreams, but it does mean that they should never be ashamed of working hard and making an honest living, no matter how much prestige they receive.
The idea of a dexterity test while young is absolute folly. When I was a child and young man, I was horribly uncoordinated, particularly when dealing with things like playing ball. I couldn’t catch balls on a regular basis, and if it was something else being tossed–keys, socks, anything, there was really no chance I would catch it.
Fast forward five to seven years past high school. One day, while walking with something in my right (primary) hand, my wife suddenly called my name. I looked just in time to see her keys flying at me. Without as much as thinking about it, I reached out my left hand and caught the keys. I was so surprised that I had her try it again. I caught them again, and again, and again. From that point on, I’ve been able to catch as well as anyone might expect. I still drop or miss some, but I no longer worry if I see a ball headed my way. Oh, and I can do something else that I never could as a kid, either–I can throw up a ball hit it on the way down. Sure, these may seem like little things to some of you, but these were huge to me.
My point is this: that level of hand-eye coordination did not occur for me until I was approaching my mid-20s. Had someone tested that type of dexterity when I was younger, I would have been told I could never be X, Y, or Z. Kids will mature at different rates–sometimes far differently than the typical growth charts. I know a fellow who was under five feet tall all through high school. Within two years of graduating, he was 6′2″! Prior to his growth spurt, I remember a lot of people suggesting he join the Navy and get on a submarine crew. Well, at 6′2″, that was no longer an option!
We need to let our kids dream, but we must be willing to let them re-visit their dreams. My eldest daughter dreams of being a writer, but her language skills are poor. I’m not going to fall into either of two errors. I’m not going to berate her and tell her that she’ll never be a writer, but I’m not going to blindly tell her she’s going to be a great writer, either. When we talk about it, I acknowledge her dream and let her know that, if she really wants to pursue it, she will need to work really hard to improve her language skills. I also try to point out her other strengths, and try to get her to think through where they may take her (though I’ve told her that her language skills will be critical in any profession).
There is an old Hebrew proverb that says “Train up a child in the way he should go, and in the end he will not depart from it.” I believe that each child has a natural disposition toward certain skills or activities. As a parent, it is my job to help them find that inclination and pursue it with all their being. If I’m succesful in training my children in the way they should go (according to their skills, personality, and inclination), not the way I want them to go (according to all of my preconceptions or dreams), then I will have succeeded.
I hope my point came across here. I want them to dream big dreams, but I don’t want them crushed when they realize that not everyone can achieve those childhood dreams. I want them to know that it’s okay to develop new dreams, and to try to find dreams that they never imagined before.
October 28th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Eve,
First story. When I was twenty, I dropped out of college and moved to Texas to make real money. Fortunately, one company required extensive testing before placing candidates. The top job for me was Computer Programmer. But, I had to go to school before they would hire me in that field. I promptly moved back to Missouri, married that pretty girl, returned to school, and worked happily in that field for many years.
Second story. When my daughter was about twenty, she wanted to work in the medical field. We sent her to work in my Dad’s practice with instructions to work her into the ground in order to dissuade her from this goal. Of course, if she loved it, she would be committed enough to get through medical school be successful in her career. Ten years later, as her Grandpa watched from heaven, she stepped in to take over his family practice where she remains successful to this day.
Early teens is too early. I changed my mind three times in college. Young folks should try out many choices to ensure they are happy when they go to work every single day. Like my daughter and I.
October 28th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
What incredible stories all of you shared. I swear, I have a tear in my eye right now.
Bottom line, we need to be realistic with our kids, but we don’t need to crush their spirits, even if they strive to be president. Why not? Who knows what a kid can end up doing. I’m not making any bets on any teens I know.
October 29th, 2008 at 11:13 am
The only thing about teens of which I can be certain: they are typically capable of far more than they can imagine themselves doing.
November 4th, 2008 at 2:32 am
WE as grown ups see the same things all grown ups see. I wanted to play the outfield for the Pittsburgh Pirates. My mom thought that the teachers were wrong to laugh about that goal. In reality, my mom knew I was a pathetic imbecile.
When my 28 year old son was about 8, he once said that he wanted to be just like me. I was in a hurry at the time to go to one of my four or five jobs and I heard him say that. I told him to be Steven and you will be far better than I am. In the car, on the way and alone, his words resonated in my head. I know I shed a tear at a traffic light and drove on. The next thing I remember was when I had to slap my drunken 13 year old Steven in the face because he raised a hand to his mother in anger. She obliged my intercedence by grabbing my son’s head and using it as a weapon against me and pushed it hard into my face. I broke my jaw, my cheekbone and lost three teeth from that blow. She is no longer my wife. Oddly, my son blamed himself for the break up and divorce and it took a while with therapy to convince him it was not his fault. He is stuck between finishing his education at Princeton and being a manager at McDonalds(A good $60 grand a year), He lives over 300 miles away. God I miss him.