It’s so strange how things happen.
I plan on discussing mentoring in my speech during the Massachusetts Conference for Women today. And last week I had an incredible thing happen to me that has to do with the topic…something that lends credence to the idea that we all touch people in our lives whether we know it or not.
When I was in my early twenties I rented an apartment on a busy street in Astoria, Queens, from a sweet Italian woman named Maria Rosa Mulone who gave me the apartment for $150 less than it was listed for because I couldn’t really afford it. She was like my mom away from home, fixing me incredible Italian meals and looking after me.
She had a young daughter named Rosella who would often knock on my door and visit. I shared my love of painting with her, and gave her some art supplies.
Well, recently I wrote a story for MSNBC.com about my doomed quest to boycott China and I got over 300 emails from readers. I read many of them but was too busy to look at them all.
A few days after my story came out I went back to read through the emails and I came across this one:
“I signed on this afternoon and saw your article about boycotting China. When I saw your name I knew I recognized it immediately. I believe you rented an apartment in Astoria from my mom many years ago on Astoria Blvd. I don’t know if you remember me my name is Rosella. I also remember you gave me my first canvas pad to draw on and that took me on a path that I have continued on even today. I decided to major in art in college and pursued an art degree for my masters.”
OK, I have to admit, I cried when I read Rosella’s email.
You go through life wondering if anything you do has meaning, and sometimes, if you’re lucky, you find out that indeed you had tiny impact on someone.
I quickly sent an email to Rosella telling her I remembered her and her mom very well, and that her email to me made my week, month, year.
I decided to look up her name and see if any of her art was online. I came across a website for Rosella Mulone. (www.rosellamulone.com.)
As the website came up on my screen, I must admit I was hoping I actually liked her artwork. I mean, even if I didn’t it wouldn’t matter, but it would be nice to love it.
And I did. It is incredible.
I sent an email to Rosella, asking how her mom was and sharing with her how much her mother’s nurturing and kindness helped me at that point in my life.
Her response:
“Sadly, my mother passed away five years ago from colon cancer. I actually quit my job as a graphic designer in an auction house to take care of her the last year she was sick and I decided to finish my master’s degree in visual arts and then started family.”
Life is full of unexpected connections. You just don’t know what you mean in the scheme of things. But somehow, we are all connected.
I think the key is reaching out for help from people that you can learn from, and on the flip side, always reach out to help the people around you. Who knows what it will mean.
This is from her final email to me:
“Funny how someone leaves an imprint of themselves behind and it can remain for a long time.”
December 12th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Eve:
This is such a heartwarming story. It proves that mentors turn up at unexpected times and in unlikely places. Thanks for the message.
December 12th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
I see a difference between being a mentor and simply being influential in someone’s life, and that difference is intention. While Eve undoubtedly had a positive influence on this future artist, I question whether “mentor” is the appropriate term.
Eve, I do not intend to belittle the significance of this series of events, but I would view as a mentor someone who, over a period of time, makes him or herself available to another with the desire of helping that other along on his or her path (especially where the other is pursuing a similar path to that of the mentor). In the circumstance you describe, I believe a better word to describe your involvement would be “catalyst”–without your presence and indluence at a critical time, this young lady may not have selected the path on which she is now on. You helped a change to occur in her that may or may not have occurred on its own.
December 12th, 2007 at 5:32 pm
You make a good point HikingStick. This was not a traditional mentoring relationship where a mentor spends time teaching a protege. This was more influence, then mentoring. My bigger point was that we never know how we touch people in our lives.
I think given her talent, Rosella would have become an artist whether she met me or not. It’s nice to think I may have had a small hand in nudging her toward what she was destined to become, and probably was her whole life.
December 19th, 2007 at 10:43 pm
We all set examples for someone, some are good and some are not so good but never the less they are examples. Rosella was fortunate to meet someone like you at just the right time.
Keep it up you never know how you are going to effect someone.
December 30th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
I loved this story! And I can relate. I perform a motivational bubble magic show where the theme is “Anything is possible!” The running gag is how I try to create a square bubble…and fail.
But I’m also modeling persistance and the fact that even though something is possible it might not always be easy. By the end of the show we figure out a way to make a square bubble, or more accurately, a bubble cube!
Parents write to tell me how their sons and daughters take this to heart and repeat it when they’re trying out something new. I love that!
Recently I was telling a grandmother how I’m being guided more and more to perform for children who are very sick or dying. Her 12 year old grand daughter spun around to look me in the eye shaking her head yes. She said, “I can see that…I see you in your 60’s and 70’s and young men and women coming up to you to say, ‘I saw your show when I was a kid and you’re the reason I’m still here.”
It brought tears to my eyes.
I see it as planting seeds. You never know in what fertile heart or mind that seed may take root.
December 30th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
We all carry this responsibility in our lives — to reach out. If we want the world to be a better place it can happen in tiny droplets, not always torrential storms.