While the nation marvels at California’s Supreme Court’s decision to allow gay marriage, I thought it was a good time to bring up a past ground-breaking achievement by the Golden State — paid family leave.

In 2002, California was the first state to approve paid family leave, and since Washington State and New Jersey have followed suit. No other states have mandated paid family leave.

There are so many workers in this country that can’t take off, or suffer economic hardship, when they need to be away from work to care for a new born, or an ailing parent. And we’re not talking about employees who decide they want to take months off, but those that just need a few weeks to deal with a family situation.

Most of the laws now on the books in these progressive states call for up to six weeks of paid time off, and in most cases, these programs are funded by the employees themselves that pay into a pot to cover the leave, just like they chip in for unemployment insurance.

Many people I talk to think paid family leave will end up benefitting only women who take time off right after they give birth or who typically end up having to care for sick family members. But I’m here to tell you that many of the individuals I’ve interviewed recently, which I’ll be profiling in my column on MSNBC.com in the coming weeks, have been men.

One journalist in California told me he needed to take time off to help care for his father with Alzheimer’s. Another worker there decided he needed a few weeks to attend to his fatherly duties when his daughter was born.

Oregon and New York will be considering the passage of their own paid family leave laws next year. Every state needs to follow California’s lead.

Folks, this is about all of us. It’s about being an enlightened society that understands the importance of family and the curve balls that life too often throws at us.

UPDATEA “Sex and the City” tour guide?

Yes, that’s Lou Matthews’ job.

Riding around Manhattan on a tour bus filled with tourists from all over the world, from Texas to Serbia, Matthews shares trivia from the HBO series and points out hotspots the four sex-obsessed characters frequented on the show.

Matthews’ story is the first in a quirky-job series I’m launching on CareerDiva today which I’m calling:

“What do you do?!”

I’ll be hunting for unusual jobs I can share with all of you. And I’m hoping you guys will also tip me off if you come a cross a quirky job or are doing one yourself. (Just email me at telleve@gmail.com if you have any ideas.)

Matthews’ job is definitely unusual and in high demand right now as the first “Sex and the City” movie is set to hit movie theaters later this month.

“Sex” devotees have been heading to the Big Apple in droves to feel the beat of the city Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda call home and to vicariously live out these wacky gals’ adventures.

Matthews, herself a “Sex” addict, came across a Craigslist job posting a few years ago with tour guide company On Location Tours and jumped at the chance to apply for the “Sex” tour.

Being an aspiring actress herself, she felt the job would be a perfect fit. So she sent in her resume and headshot and ended up landing the gig, which pays about $25 an hour to start. Training included taking the tour three times and then she was handing the microphone and told, “your on.”

Thanks goodness she had experience interacting with people doing promotional work for tradeshows, and she’s often “the girl giving out free drinks.”

In her “Sex” job she has to be a social butterfly and be on all the time.

“It’s demanding,” says Matthews. “It’s kind of like doing a one-woman show.”

She typically meets the tourists at the fancy schmancy Plaza Hotel on Fifth Ave., and the bus is almost always filled to capacity with about 55 people. They tour about 40 “Sex” locations and all the while Matthews tantalizes tourists with tidbits from the show.

The biggest ooo’s and ahhs come when the group stops at the “Pleasure Chest,” a sex shop in the West Village. That’s where Charlotte buys the rabbit vibrator that she eventually gets addicted to, Matthews notes. “It’s a great ice breaker,” she adds.

Other stops include Magnolia Bakery, where Carrie told Miranda she had a crush on Aidan while the two friends were chomping on cupcakes.

And she also engages the tourists in a vote on whether Carrie should have ended up with Aidan, you know the guy from my “Big Fat Greek Wedding”, instead of Mr. Big, you know the guy from “Law and Order.”

The vote, she says, typically splits 50-50, but she admits to me that she’s partial to Aidan.

But what about the “Sex” girls’ biggest love interest, Cosmos?

Alas, Matthews does not drink the gals’ favorite cocktail on duty, but the bus does make a stop at Onieal’s bar, which is actually called Scout on the show and is frequented by the show’s characters, and the tourists are offered discounted Cosmos for $9. (Hey, it’s Manhattan.)

And forget the expensive clothing the women wear on the show.

As a struggling actress, Matthews can’t pony up the big bucks for Manolo Blahniks or Dolce&Gabbana, but she maintains, “I have an interest in fashion and I like to put myself together. But since I’m dashing around the city I wear chunky high heels, not stilettos.”

She’s proud of her job, which is basically part time with 16 hours a week so she has lots of time to pursue acting jobs when she’s not touring, and friends brag about what she does. But she admits she had trouble telling her dad because he never heard of the show. Being from Ohio, she worried he’d freak when he found out she does a “Sex and the City” tour.

Turns out, “he was cool about it.”

Now, being a “Sex” tour guide is probably not a life-long career.

So, what does this twenty something, who wouldn’t give her exact age because she’s “an actress”, see herself doing in the future?

“In an ideal world, I’ll be working on comedic projects,” she says. “But if this tour is still part of my life in five years I’ll embrace it.”

Cosmo anyone?

UPDATE:
I had to change the name of my new section from “You Do What” to “What do you do?!” I didn’t realize that Fortune magazine had a section for a while called “You Do What?” so I decided to toss that out and come up with something else. What do you guys think? Do you like the new name? Or should I call it something else? Your suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

When I first started looking for a job as a reporter out of college I hit the big, no-response wall when I sent out my resume.

I sent out endless resumes, to endless publications and got nothing. And I wasn’t picky back then. I just wanted to get a job reporting. I didn’t care about what.

Well, I decided it was my boring resume that was holding my career back. So, being a fine-arts minor, I decided to use color to get my resume noticed. I printed 50 of my resumes on red paper. Not light red paper. Blood red paper. I’m not kidding folks. The printer had to use a very dark ink to make the text readable.

What did I get for the 50 red resumes I sent out. Just one response. That didn’t lead to a job. But hey, I got a response damn it.

Why am I telling you this? I don’t know.

Only kidding.

I’m telling you this because it’s okay to get a bit creative with your resume. I’ve talked to hundreds of hiring managers in my job as a career writer and many of them have told me they don’t mind a unique resume if it’s done with taste and it works for the job or company the applicant is applying to.

But hold back on the scratch and sniff resume paper for now. Wacky gimmicks won’t help you in the job hut.

Think smart!

I got an email last week from a reader who did his resume in a Power Point presentation. What a great idea.

“I’m so much more than a flat piece of paper!,” the reader wrote.

I love this guy!

Anyway, it got his foot in the door at the employer he wanted to work for.

So, should you Power Point? Should you go out and make a video resume? Should you send an electronic resume that’s colored red?

The Power Point resume is a great idea, says Michael Neece, Chief Strategy Officer of resume building resource PongoResume. But he suggests sending along a regular resume as well to tweak the interest of the hiring manager so they’re more apt to open the presentation.

And don’t do the Power Point presentation yourself unless you can do a good job at it, he adds. You don’t want a sloppy document to screw up your chances.

Keep it short and sweet, Neece adds, three pages tops. And focus what you want to include as far as your accomplishments. He offered a great guide. STAR: describe the Situation; spell out the Tactics used; talk about the Actions you took; and details your Results.

As for video resumes, Neece says forget them. A recent survey his firm did found that 83 percent of recruiters never even open the video package up. Yikes.

Do things that are memorable and not over the top. What about small icon at the top of the resume page, he suggests. “You send a resume in and the recruiter gets it and suddenly the resume is not ‘Eve’ but the women with the apple on the left hand corner of the resume,” he says.

Alas, I never did the little simple icon. What a great idea. What about a small chef hat for an aspiring chef, or a computer for a tech wannabe?

Anyway, I couldn’t help myself. I had to ask Neece what he would have thought of a blood red resume crossing his desk back in his recruiter days:

“I would have thought, ‘Oh my god, what the hell is this?’”

DOH!

Just because women work at a job outside of the home doesn’t mean they don’t work inside the home. Hello!

Recently I had a public relations person send me a new survey on stay-at-home moms and the estimated salary they would make if the tasks they do everyday were translated into a real paycheck.

They drive kids around, cook meals, and counsel their children. So the people that came up with the survey figured they could equate a stay-at-home mom’s worth to similar jobs, like chauffeur, chef and shrink.

“For the past few years Salary.com has conducted a survey based on the time mother’s spend performing the most popular ‘mom job’ functions such as housekeeper, cook, driver, psychologist, etc. Salary.com calculated an annual salary that a mom would make (if she got a paycheck) based on these duties and hours spent, which is usually a full time job for stay-at-home moms,” explains Emily Kaswell, a spokeswoman for Salary.com.

Now, I’ve used Salary.com’s statistics and experts before. I find them a valuable source for my research. But boy, this survey got under my skin.

Here’s the calculation they come up with when they compared stay-at-home mom’s pretend annual salaries and the average pay for working moms:

Stay-at-home moms, $138,094, and $85,938 for working moms.

I don’t know about you guys but something is missing in this equation.

Working moms, just because they are working moms, do not give up the driving around, cooking or counseling duties.

If you go by Salary.com’s calculations that would mean working mothers should make a pretend salary of $224,032.

I’m not trying to belittle the importance of what stay-at-home moms do, but come on folks, women who work do it all whether they like it or not. There is very little down time with the responsibilities of a job and the home.

So why are we spending so much time trying to build up stay-at-home moms, even though two-third of moms work at a job outside the home? Salary.com even provides a calculator so you can figure out how much pretend money you are entitled to.

The reason we spend so much time trying to make mom’s who don’t work feel better is our society does not value the things required to run a household. That’s just the way it is. I doubt this will ever change.

It sucks folks, I know. But we need to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and be proud of whatever choices we make in our lives. The problem is not that people don’t realize how much money what we do would fetch in the marketplace. By doing calculations like this we fall prey to the very thing we are trying to fight against.

No value can be put on raising a family. We all know that.

Our efforts should be focused on making sure dads pick up more of the slack. Based on Salary.com’s premise, working dads average salaries are actually worth half of what they make if they don’t help out at home.

We should also be pushing the business world and the government to adopt more family friendly work policies like paid family leave and paid sick days. What about good child care?

Now that would make everyone’s life better, and it may encourage some moms who have been unable to figure out how to balance work and family to possibly go for a real paycheck.

Many of you have asked me how you go about getting your boss to let you work from home.

It’s hard to just walk into your boss’ office and ask for what you want out of the blue. But you all now have a great conversation ice breaker — GAS PRICES.

Hello, this is the best excuse ever to ask for a day or two of telecommuting. Gas prices are skyrocketing and I bet your manager is also feeling the pinch. So get all your arguments together and ask to speak with her boss about the issue.

Make a case for why you can do your job at home and even do it better than if you were in a busy, noisy, distracting office. And make sure to sprinkle the conversation with information about how much more you’re paying a month because of higher gas prices.

There is no guarantee he or she will agree, but why not ask? Come on. This is the perfect time.

I address the issue today in my MSNBC.com column and I also offer tips on how to ask for the coveted work-at-home days.

Here’s to driving less and working more! Oh yeah. Forgot to tell you that. If you work from home, expect to work more than you ever have. I’m on the clock 24/7, so make sure you set boundaries.

If you decide to ask your boss I hope you’ll share your story here…whether you get a yes or no.

This just doesn’t sound right no matter how you slice it: Unions striking secret deals with employers.

When it comes to workers, there’s plenty of secrecy to go around at the companies they work for. So, you’d figure a union would be all about transparency.

Not today. Two of the nation’s biggest unions, the Service Employees International Union, known as SEIU, and Unite Here, have been engaged in striking back-room deals with employers. I’m serious folks. You can’t make this stuff up.

There was a great article in the Wall Street Journal looking at the secret pacts.

Two of the nation’s largest labor unions have struck confidential agreements with large employers that give the companies the right to designate which of their locations, and how many workers, the unions can seek to organize.Two of the nation’s largest labor unions have struck confidential agreements with large employers that give the companies the right to designate which of their locations, and how many workers, the unions can seek to organize.

The agreements are raising questions about union transparency and workers’ rights. A summary document put together by the unions says it is critical to the success of the partnership “that we honor the confidentiality and not publicly disclose the existence of these agreements.” That includes not disclosing them to union members.

I don’t know about you, but if a union were representing me I’d want everything disclosed.

This move seems like the last gasp of a dying labor movement in this country that has seen membership plummet.

One union, the SEIU, has actually been gaining members. I write about that often. But if this is the way they are swelling their ranks then maybe they should rethink their tactics.

Some labor experts also see it as an unnerving development:

The secret deals, says Gary Chaison, professor of Industrial Relations at Clark University, “are very worrisome and some unions, particularly SEIU, seem to specialize in them. What I see are unions attempting to strike a balance between organizing new members and representing them. Often, unions find that they have to do special deals with employers in order to gain neutrality and special arrangements, like membership card counts instead of elections, as a way to prove majority support and achieve status as bargaining agent. But here’s the conflict. Secret deals to gain status as bargaining agent runs counter to the unions’ roles as bargaining agent, when they have to be open and transparent organizations.”

This seems obvious, no? What are we missing here?

In the Journal piece the unions defend their tactics:

The SEIU’s president, Andy Stern, said the unions sought the agreements after realizing that traditional organizing campaigns at individual sites were proving ineffective. “The old ways aren’t working, and we’re trying to find different relationships with employers that guarantee workers a voice,” he said. He dismissed the idea that the new agreements are undemocratic. “These workers have no unions; that’s where we start from,” he said.

and…

The agreements have “resulted in tens of thousands of workers getting unions” and been a major advance for the labor movement, said the president of Unite Here, Bruce Raynor.

He defended keeping them confidential, saying the companies involved insisted on that for competitive reasons.

This excuse has been used again and again by executives in the business world. Having a union official using it as a reason to keep deals secret from workers makes me feel like I’m in an episode of the Twilight Zone.

Chaison offers a gloomy scenario:

“Is this the beginning of the end of the labor movement? I think a strong case could be made that secret deals (along with the loss of political clout and the concessionary bargaining (wage cuts and freezes) that has become some common for example in the auto and airline industries, does mark a beginning of an end….that unions have loss so much influence and power in the world of work in which they recruit members and bargaining, that they find themselves moving apart from the members and making special deals with employers. The final decline of American labor unions will be marked not only by intense opposition from employers but a workers’ loss of faith in need for and effectiveness of unionism and in their unions as organizations controlled by workers. Once workers see unions as making special secret deals, workers’ will no longer feel attached to their unions, and the rejection of unionism at nonunion workplaces will increase and fewer workers will be willing to strike or participate in union administration and governance. Hence, unions will lose their greatest resource…the energy and support of their members.”

It’s something unions have been losing for years. But are these desperate measures for desperate times too desperate?

I have written a bit about the Crandall Canyon Mine collapse in Utah. You remember, the story was on the news for days and the mine’s owner Bob Murray took every chance he could to get on TV and talk about how safe the mine was and how he thought an earthquake actually caused the tragedy.

Well, he was wrong.

Yesterday, the Chairman of an investigation in Congress called for a criminal inquiry in to the collapse the death of nine miners.

This from the Associated Press:

WASHINGTON (AP) — A leading House Democrat wants federal prosecutors to open a criminal investigation into the deaths of nine people in a Utah mine collapse last year.

Democratic Rep. George Miller of California is the chairman of the House Education and Labor Committee. Miller says his investigation into the August 2007 deaths at Crandall Canyon led him to make a criminal referral to the Justice Department.

Miller says UtahAmerican Energy may have misled federal mine safety inspectors on how safe the mine was. He says investigation shows the company may have downplayed a “bump” that burst pillars in another section of the mine months before the accident.

The Labor Department is still investigating the Crandall Canyon collapse.

Miller feels the deaths were avoidable and he wants to know if there was a larger conspiracy here.

After reaching for the limelight during the vigil to try and get the miners out, Bob Murray suddenly went mute.

This from the Salt Lake City Tribune:

Adair, along with mine co-owner Bob Murray and three other officials with Murray Energy’s Utah subsidiaries, declined to be deposed by committee investigators, asserting their constitutional right against self-incrimination, the report said.

The president and a former principal of Agapito Associates Inc., the engineering firm that advised Murray Energy on the mine plan, also were subpoenaed to testify but invoked their Fifth Amendment right as well, according to the report.

So what now?

Again, the Tribune story:

The U.S. attorney for Utah said he will review a congressional request for a criminal investigation into whether the Crandall Canyon mine general manager “willfully misled” federal officials.

A spokeswoman for Brett Tolman, the state’s top federal law enforcement official, said he takes the request “very seriously” and will review the materials submitted by House Education and Labor Committee Chairman George Miller.

“As with other referrals that come to our office, we will carefully screen the material provided to us, work with agents to conduct further investigation as needed, and consider whether criminal charges are appropriate based on evidence in the case,” Melodie Rydalch said in a statement.

While the mine operations should be held accountable if they indeed did put the safety of their workers knowingly in harms way, the bigger finger should be pointed at the federal agency responsible for overseeing these operations, the Mine Safety and Health Administration. The administration’s own inspector general has said the agency was negligent, according to the New York Times.

Hopefully the miners and their families will have justice in the end.

There has been an ongoing battle between two large national unions and it’s a bit sickening to watch.

The SEIU (the Service Employees International Union) and the CNA (the California Nurses Association) have been fighting like a bunch of babies over representing workers at hospitals in different parts of the country.

It blows my mind that at a time when workers need the help of unions the most union leaders can’t get their acts together and play nice with each other.

I know, unions fight all the time over turf as they try to gain power and increase their ranks, but this skirmish has become ugly and public and it makes organized labor look like a bunch of angry boobs.

They are filing restraining orders and even getting violent.

This from the Los Angeles Times:

The California Nurses Assn. on Wednesday secured a temporary restraining order against the Service Employees International Union, accusing it of harassing the board members of the Oakland-based group.

The two influential nationwide unions have a long, acrimonious rivalry that reached a new height in March after they publicly battled over whether the SEIU should represent more than 8,000 nurses and other healthcare workers in Ohio.

The dispute flared again at a labor conference in Dearborn, Mich., on Saturday, when SEIU protesters attempted to gain access to a ballroom where Rose Ann DeMoro, executive director of the nurses association, had been expected to speak. Several people were injured in a scuffle, including a 68-year-old woman who fell after being pushed.

DeMoro accused SEIU members and staff last week of stalking nurses association board members at their homes, looking through windows and shouting.

SEIU spokeswoman Lynda Tran said union organizers have been driving a nurse and respiratory therapist to board members’ homes to express their disapproval of the association’s tactics in Ohio last month.

It’s a she said she said and it’s doing little to build up workers in this country.

At a time when wages are falling and government agencies that area supposed to be protecting workers rights and safety are being hacked back, you would think the labor movement would be able to sit down and take out the peace pipe.

From where I sit, it seems these unions are more concerned with protecting their corner of the playground than protecting workers.

There’s a disturbing trend out there of people taking less money than they should when they are offered a job.

I know, the media, including me, spend our days writing endless stories about how bad the economy is. These stories may feed your fear that no one will want to hire you during tough times so when you get an offer you’re so happy you’ll take what ever the hiring manager gives you. But don’t get duped people!

According to a survey by Jobfox the median salaries for certain jobs actually dipped.

“While the value of the dollars is shrinking, many job seekers - including in-demand technology specialists - must accept new positions at lower salaries than they did just a month ago, according to findings in the Jobfox Top 25 Most Wanted U.S. Job Candidates: May 2008 rankings.”

Jobfox’s May rankings of the professions in highest demand among employers found that some median salary ranges being asked for by job seekers dipped $10,000, compared to a month ago. Median salary ranges demanded by job seekers fell for workers seeking jobs in:

Software Design/Development, with a median salary range of $95,000 to $105,000 in April to $85,000 to $95,000 in May.

Product Management, with the median salary range falling to $85,000 to $95,000 in May.

Networking/System Administration, dipping to $65,000 to $75,000 in May.

Finance, shrinking to $65,000 to $75,000.

Government Contracts Administration, settling for $55,000 to $65,000.

Jobfox’ CEO Rob McGovern says, “Overall, workers remain confident, both about current employment and about their abilities to find new jobs. However, like businesses, workers realize that the economy is a bit bumpy and they may have to slightly lower their salary expectations to land the jobs they want.”

Well, I’m hear to tell you — DON’T DO IT!!

This is exactly what companies want, workers who are running scared prepared to take any amount of money; prepared to take cuts in benefits; time off, hand over your first born.

Companies that have a budget to hire have enough money to pay you what you’re worth. I’m not saying be greedy. Figure out what the job should pay and jive that with your experience and what you bring to the table. Then ask for what you know is fair. Get information before you got into the negotiation. Hear me? I’m rhyming here. Emily Dickinson would be proud — GET INFORMATION BEFORE YOU GO INTO THE NEGOTIATION.

Folks, CEOs are not lowering their asking price, and salary reductions for their pay would actually make a big difference.

This is not time for workers to be running scared. And making a decision to take less money, while it may not seem like a big deal on the surface, will come back to haunt you.

“It hurts your self-confidence and lowers the money you can make in the future. Or, in other words, there is catch up to do,” says career coach Deborah Brown-Volkman. “The goal in your career is to go forward, not backward.”

Let’s be realistic here. There are different scenarios and you have to decide what’s best for you. That means actually investigating the financial footing of the company you want to work for.

If the company you’re applying to is in bankruptcy and your only goal in working there is to get the experience on your resume, then maybe, you should sell yourself off at a bargain basement price. I have known CEOs that took a step back in their careers, went to work for a dying company with no money, and felt it paid off.

If the company has solid financials and maybe took a bit of a hit on the stock price lately, but they’re hiring and growing certain business segments, then you want to make top dollar for the position you seek. If you have the top credentials of course. If not, gauge what someone like you, with your experience should be making.

One of the big problems for women, and potentially why we’re still paid less than our male counterparts, is at some point they accept lower salaries than men. And then, they never catch up, and the chasm gets wider and wider. Why? Because women typically are afraid to ask for more money, and heftier raises. So they get more and more screwed as time goes by.

So, accept the most money you can get out of the gate. Or you’ll end up like that horse from the Kentucky Derby, Eight Belles — coming in second when it comes to salary but ending up breaking your legs when the hiring race is over.

“Mommy, what does gay mean?”

That’s what my five-year-old son Cheiron asked me this morning as he was putting his socks on, preparing for his exciting day at kindergarten.

The question came at the height of our morning family frenzy.

Cheiron and his sister, Circe, typically get up at 6:45 a.m. and the mommy-rushing show begins: “Eat your breakfast.” “Stop talking.” “Don’t pet the dog.” “Put away your dishes.”

I constantly have the fire under them so they make it to the bus and I can start my work day as early as possible. Today was no exception. I had lots to do and needed them to get the heck out of kitchen, up to the bathroom to wash up, and quickly dress for the day. I needed to start extra early today so my husband stepped in for his morning shift early to help getting shoes on, and walking them to the bus.

Everything was going well. I was in the bathroom reading three newspapers early, and knocks on the door by my kids with a host of problems and questions were easily dealt with.

Circe came to my door to tell me Jack from “Little House on the Prairie”, the dog from the book we were reading together last night, had actually survived the flood. She had read ahead when she was done fixing her bed and wanted to share her happiness with me that Jack was indeed still alive. I said, “that’s so great C,” and she headed off to read some more.

I was done with my morning rituals ready to jump in the shower when the big question came from Cheiron, who was finishing dressing in his bedroom. “What does gay mean?”

It was a like a needle scratching a record. I suddenly realized I couldn’t just blow him off with a short answer and head for the shower.

“What?”, I said, hoping maybe I didn’t hear him right but knowing deep inside what I had heard.

“What is gay mommy?” “Where did you hear that,” I asked. “I don’t know. What is it?”

So I sat down with the little bugger, who doesn’t miss anything going on around him and always wants to know what everything means.

I realized by entering his bedroom and sitting down on the bed I was probably sending my whole day out of whack.

It wasn’t time for a special mommy and Cheiron moment but what choice did I have.

We have come to convince ourselves that somehow we can attain this thing called “work-life balance”, but unfortunately folks it doesn’t exist.

My morning was a tiny example of this. What I went through wasn’t a tragedy. People have to juggle much worse, or aren’t even lucky enough to see their kids during the breakfast routine. But the bottom line is you can’t plan on things, and you can’t balance life in any way shape or form.

No one can plan for a talk about homosexuality at 7:15 a.m.

That’s the key right there, you can’t plan for what life throws you, especially if you have a family to deal with.

OK, I know I sound dire, but don’t give up on life yet.

I called a blogger colleague of mine Cali Yost, who has a great concept of “Work-Life Fit”, not balance. She offers some hope.

It’s all about having some general idea of what your day will be like, she says. Given that, you can probably get 75 percent of what you want accomplished done.

Not bad odds I guess.

“People just let life happen to them,” says Yost, who is author of “Work+Life: Finding the Fit That’s Right for You.” “In this 24-7 high-tech, global world reality, you’re asking for trouble with that.”

She says the ten minutes I took explaining gayness to my son shouldn’t have been a major issue. “You’ll probably make that up somewhere else in the day. Maybe you say, ‘I’m not going to watch American Idol tonight.’”

The key, she advises, is having contingency plans for those busy days, or for that unexpected project at work. Most of us don’t have those plans, she adds.

So, here are some things to keep in mind from Yost’s book of balance:

* Have a contingency plan in place. I always say, parents should over hire child care.

* Be thoughtful and conscious of what you want to accomplish in a day, a week, a month, a year.

* Know you can plan for 75 percent of what will happen on a good day.

* And don’t, don’t, don’t beat yourself up when things aren’t perfect.

Maybe you don’t have that talk with your son in the morning. “You could have said, ’sorry honey, we’ll totally talk about it tonight.’”

“It’s okay,” she adds, “if he learns what gay means tonight.”